I act like a don’t give a f***!
Maybe I put on this front way to good
Anyone that truly knows me . Which is difficult as I don’t drop my walls easily. But anyone knows me will know I do care . Probably to much and am very sensitive soul
I would like to not give one tbh cos it would help with worrying about things.
I think I’m very misunderstood
I am sorry you are feeling misunderstood. I often feel like I am just putting up a front around everybody I am physically around. I feel like they won't like the "real" me. It can be lonely and exhausting for me. My apparent need to be what they want me to be is one of the main causes of my social anxiety I think. I judge myself too harshly.
Yes it’s definitely hard to let people see the real person. I understand I put on a harsh exterior. Maybe most people see through it anyway I don’t know
You sound compassionate and caring to me.
Thank you, it’s easier to be cold and keep walls high then let people in or start to show you care about someone.
I've found that it may be a hundred times more difficult, but a thousand times more precious....just a thought.
I have been trying to go out my comfort zone. Try to talk to more people.I feel I’ve let my walls down and then been rejected or brushed aside so it makes me put them up higher next time.
I want connection but stop myself
I wouldn't be too hard on myself if I were you. On the contrary, just because you appear a certain way doesn't mean that's who you are. Like I said, you seem like a compassionate, caring, sensitive, loving person but those blessed qualities may be masked by your need to protect yourself with "walls" that those who don't know you think are the "real" you. ...little do they know the gentle, warm, sensitive, caring, and compassionate person on the other side of those walls. ...just a thought.
Thanks for your reply.
Your so right
Hope your days going well xx
You're more than welcome. 😃. Hope yours is also 😃.
I definitely understand you tigerLilly7.
My whole life has been as I've described to my therapist I've been the great pretender. I've always acted that everything is fine. But internally I am screaming. I am afraid of my own shadow, I am sensitive and I am by no means confident in myself. But if you were to meet me on the street I'm a funny, bright, cheerful woman. I love a good joke and I love to have fun. That's what most people see. What they don't see is the loneliness, the line in bed at 3:00 in the morning thinking about my life and my regrets. About how anxiety has robbed me of things. And now that I have to play catch up. How I fear that I'm being left behind by the world around me. That I feel like I'm a burden to everyone due to this setback in my anxiety. And I feel like I'm holding everyone else up. They don't see the tears that I cry trying to work up the courage just to go to a vet appointment to make sure my dog is healthy or take a short drive to the store. It shouldn't be this hard. But it is for me and here many people deal with what I deal with. So I found many kindred spirits here. We all wear masks out in the real world. But here I kind of feel like I can be myself. And I don't feel ashamed. I'm a work in progress and I'm trying my best to get back or should I say to become a better person than I was last year and a year before that and the year before that. I'm working really hard on that.
And also I can tell that you have a big heart. You care a lot and sometimes that bites you in the ass. Because you care a lot. I know because I care a lot myself. Big hearted people are the best people but we do get taken advantage of a lot. And sometimes people mistake our kindness for weakness. Sometimes they mistake our don't give a f*** attitude as if we don't care. But we do a lot. So I definitely get where you're coming from. Hugs to you 🫂☺️
Hello
You sound really brave and thoughtful of others.
We do what we need to do to get through the day.
You say you try to be a better person and that’s a good attitude to have but remember not to be to hard on yourself, we are all just human at the end of the day.
I do worry if I let people in they will take advantage of me, that’s I think why I choose to be cold and stand-off ish most the time. It’s easier to not show I care or get too close. This leaves me feeling lonely.
Thanks for your reply 🤗
I think it is a good trait to be sensitive and funny. We need to laugh at ourselves and others sometimes. 😁 There is so much suffering in & around us. I can't watch the news anymore . Too much violence!!As far as opening up to people I have learned to be very guarded
. I don't tell everyone my story right away. Trust takes time. I have learned that the hard way.😪 Have you ever read the book "Safe People" by Henry Cloud? It has been very informative for me. I hope you find a kind and compatible friend soon.💗🙏😍
Don’t know what to do 
I don’t know anymore.
Don’t Kmow What to Do?
I don’t know what a normal conversation is...
F*** This S***
