Supporting children with anxiety

[LaneyL]

There is a lot of anxiety and depression that runs in our family including myself. I have 2 daughters 26 and 20 that unfortunately suffer as well. My youngest seems to struggle more now while my oldest has learned some coping skills of her own and is quite the fighter, although I know her struggle is very real. I am trying to find ways to help my youngest as I pay her rent and most bills. She has worked for short period of times but is currently on a 7 month stretch of unemployment. I know she is in a rough space and I don’t want to make her feel worse but at the same time my financial situation is causing my anxiety and depression to creep in. Not sure how to keep everyone mentally stable these days…

[Jeff1943]

I feel your pain. But must ask, you say it runs in the family, but as the saying goes 'Is it nature or is it nurture?' The youngest daughter: why on a 7 month stretch of unemployment with you paying the rent? After a short break, work is therapeutic. Could you be protecting her too much, it's a common tendency among parents, me included, even something simple will do, even if you still paid half the rent. Perhaps that's it, tell her your savings won't last for ever so how about she gets a job that pays half the rent and you'll still pay the other half. It's a start, at 20 she's now an adult.

I don't know how much therapy and medication you've all tried or trying but this is separate to that. Through understanding, reassurance and a different way of looking at the challenges of mental illness you can all recover.

So said the late Claire Weekes. A Boston professor of psychiatry claims she has helped tens of millions of people worldwide to recover. Somebody else in the trade called her 'the woman who cracked the anxiety code'.

Go to Amazon or E-bay and buy three copies (new or pre-owned will do) of Doctor Claire Weekes' first book titled 'Hope and help for your nerves'. I'm guessing your an American. If you're a Brit the same book is titled 'Self help for your nerves'. Give one copy each to your daughters and keep one for yourself. Tell them you're all going to meet up for dinner in one month's time to discuss the book. (It was written half a lifetime ago but don't let that put you off).

Like I always say, if you only read one more book in your life this is that book.

[LaneyL in reply to Jeff1943]

We have tried several medications and she is currently scheduled in August to begin therapy. I would be perfectly fine covering half the rent for her, my fear is just that she will never find the strength within her. I will check this book out for sure. Thank you for the recommendation and reading my vent.

[AlexFlorida]

Hello LaneyL. I totally understand you! I’m married, and a father of 2! Currently I have serious mental problems with anxiety, panic and depression while also battling with health problems and conditions and now… I’m cracking and if that happens and I can’t work for whatever reason that is my family will be in big big big trouble financially! I’m in a bad place right now and struggling

[LaneyL in reply to AlexFlorida]

I am sorry you are having your own battle. As a single mother of 3 with no father. I know it’s difficult to be the one everyone looks to for all their needs. And also try to keep yourself going, it’s exhausting and some days you just wanna curl up. I also have anxiety, OCD and Psoriatic Arthritis. What have you tried to cope?

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry depression runs in your family. I can relate to that. My daughters have struggled some with that. Have both your daughters been on medication or have counseling? What about yourself? You don't want your depression to get bad, so the first thing is to make sure you are taking care of yourself. Could your younger daughter move back in with you until she gets a job, feel better, and back on her feet?

Changing our thought process is what truly helps depression. Redirecting our thoughts. Here is an article(bit.ly/3n4wBpq) about that you might find helpful for you and your daughters. I will be praying for you. Hugs and God Bless

[LaneyL in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you! I appreciate that. I would actually love for her to move with me but I am close to 2 hours away and she does not want to leave the area where the rest of the family are. She has tried several medications and is scheduled for august to begin therapy. Fingers crossed!

[lovetodance2018 in reply to LaneyL]

I will continue to pray for her and that the therapy helps. Please keep us updated. Hugs