I feel worthless right now. I have been in therapy and taking medication for anxiety and OCD for about a year and a half. But I think I have some unresolved emotional trauma from my childhood that keeps pulling me back to a dark place. I had severe OCD for many years that went untreated. My father kept telling me that I wouldn't be able to take care of myself when I grew up and I needed to be more like my sister. He treated going to a psychiatrist like it was the most shameful thing that could happen, so I never went until recently.
I thought I was doing better for the past year or so, but now I'm in a really bad place. I've always been incredibly needy since moving out on my own, and I am desperately lonely. I recently got on this dating website called "Plenty of Fish," and I feel addicted to it. I've registered for it and then deleted it several times already because I know it's so bad for me but I can't stop messaging people. I've never been one to look for casual sex and hookups (I'm still a virgin). I am way more interested in developing a relationship with someone I love and who loves me. But all I do is message people about getting into casual relationships, regardless of their age (I've messaged people from 18 to 40), how they look, or even if they're on drugs/smoking, which are things I don't do and will never do.
I feel so pathetic. I'm sorry for the bother, but does anyone have any advice they could offer?
Downward spiral 
Tips for to stop from falling down the spiraling black hole of an anxiety attack
Spiraling down 
Help with spiraling! 
I am spiraling, and it’s a bad one.
