How to move on from pain, stop waiting, and accept things won’t happen as you want it to be?

[Stitching]

Am back posting after a year. I thought i have healed, accepted that things i wanted will never come my way and just settle for what i had. But I didn’t realized anxiety won’t go that so easily, until i might fully healed and forgiven myself from falling into the trap that’s so painful, so hard to escape.

[SurvivingEveryday]

For me, I had to convince myself that I will never truly be "healed", but I will spend the rest of my life navigating a wave of being "okay" and "bad" days. Even within each day there are good and bad moments. But, on the whole things are getting better.

I agree with how you are feeling, and I might add that it is somewhat unfair that we must endure and try to live consciously of the fact that we are not neurotypical, and must endure this burden. I am sorry that you are going through this particularly bad moment. But, it is ok. It is normal. You are ok. Just breathe, try something new, and focus on the good, no matter how dark your life may seem right now.

You got this.

[Joshgw]

Hi. I wish I knew the answer. I actually can remember a time when I felt "normal" (that was 25 years ago). I was just recently hospitalized, have had severe suicidal ideation. I am just so sick of feeling this way; depression/anxiety. I have a relatively knew treatment team and I have had fleeting moments of feeling better but it's one step forward and two steps back. Once I think I'm starting to feel a little better my depression and anxiety just pulls me back in. It's like I can't let go.