Job advice with depression

[Injas1987]

Been struggling with MDD and anxiety almost my whole life. I'm 34 now. My life has not been a good one; horrible childhood and even tougher adulthood. I've been taking care of myself my whole life and have no one to turn to. I have tried making friends with no luck. People seem to love me and think I'm a nice person, but never want to connect with me. I have at least 7 chronic conditions including migraines, vertigo, depression, OCD, ect. I have been struggling to find a job that understands. They all give me a hard time for the constant doctor appointments and the calloffs (which the calloffs are only about every other month on average, not bad for someone with all my problems) I have even had a job tell me I'm under review for termination for being in the hospital too much and missing work. SSDI is only about 1/3 of what I make now so that's not an option, I'm already starving because I can't afford food. I've tried so many avenues with no luck. If anyone knows of anything that could help, please. I never asked for this life and I have never had it good, but here I am forced to live it with others just making it more impossible for me. I'm starting to feel as though the world is against me. Thank you in advance.

[Blueruth]

Are you familiar with FMLA?

Never tell an employer anything about your health status. You have to "take some PTO" or however you clock it... that's all. You never know what biases they carry.

Is a calloff a sick day? Can you schedule it or is this a sick day?

[Injas1987 in reply to Blueruth]

Not eligible for FMLA until September. We get a set 160 hrs of PTO a year. Calloffs however still count against me. They gave me a hard time the day I left work early in an ambulance because I had such bad vertigo I couldn't stand. They have seen me wearing a halter monitor and know I'm seeing a cardiologist. They say they understand but when it comes down to it they give me a hard time for missing work. I do get approved for my doc appointments since I know when they are. It's the unplanned things like going to the ER and calling off they are being terrible for. My doctor told me to try short term disability at least until the cardiologist thing and my migraines are more under control so I think I'll do that.

[b1b1b1 in reply to Injas1987]

If you have to wear a Holter monitor again, make sure it doesn't show! Are you being treated for depression and/or taking antidepressants? You have had a difficult life and some support from a psychotherapist as well as medication may be very helpful. x

[Injas1987 in reply to b1b1b1]

Yes, I've been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist since I was sixteen. On quite a few meds for it.

[Blueruth in reply to Injas1987]

I don't think I am clear on what a call off is.

Short term disability sounds like a good idea. Don't get me wrong... This must be very difficult and frustrating. While it is in no way your fault they are probably just trying to get work done. Unfortunately the FMLA would protect you from being fired and HR probably knows that. That is why it is critical to keep health issues private. Kind of hard when you have to go to the ER of course. But you must try. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

[Injas1987 in reply to Blueruth]

A calloff is a sick day. Although they don't call them sick days because they want it to count against us if we take one. So messed up.

[Blueruth in reply to Injas1987]

Is that Uk? In the Us you rarely see “sick days”. It is all PTO. The back story is if they called pto “vacation “ you can take any leftover days as pay when you leave. PTO is just a bucket. What matters is the number of days. “Sick day” wouldn’t help you either. First, they know you are sick and that definition is prone to bias. Second it sounds like you would expend them which calls attention to the number you have taken.

Are these mental health days or er trips? If they are more like mental health days perhaps you could just schedule them and it wouldn’t be a surprise. Just looking forward to that day might help too.

[Daveacr1959]

Things that help me.. I start every morning with the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. You tube has lots of different breathing exercises in case you want different ones. This is calming and energizing at the same time. Here is what you will probably not like, but a dozen people on here have got back to me after doing this and said it’s amazing. After your shower rinse 5 minutes in cool water. With the goal of a cold rinse in a month. You tube cold shower therapy for mental health and health. 40 minutes of daily cardio exercise to burn off steam and produce endorphins.