Intense mood swings and depression

[greenmango1]

I'm currently dealing with intense waves of sadness all day long. When this wave comes, I feel sweaty and almost like I have a stomach ache without the pain and feel an enormous amount of guilt in everything I think about. When this sadness isn't present, I get clammy and feel anxious for the next wave of sadness to come. I felt like this a couple of months ago when I was dealing with a friendship conflict. I dealt with the same conflict this weekend and as soon as it was resolved, the waves of sadness started. I'm frustrated because I know the conflict was resolved, so I have no reason to feel like this. This is also affecting my sleep, and I can't sleep without waking up every couple of hours and struggling to fall back asleep and my lack of sleep is just making the depression worse. I'm putting so much pressure on myself to feel better because finals are coming up and I need to study. Spring break is also coming up, and I'm worried I won't be able to make the most of my time because I'm stuck in this cycle. Has anyone dealt with this before? What helps?

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome! A couple things my psychiatrist is working with me on:

-making room for the thoughts instead of trying to push them out. He said that the more we try and push them out, the more problematic they become.

-trying not to expect the next wave to hit. If it hits it hits, but I shouldn't sit around expecting it.

-getting rid of the feeling that I don't deserve to feel this way. I already know I don't deserve to feel this way, so I could ironically be making it worse for myself by reaffirming that I don't deserve it.

(Hope that last one makes sense. Reading it again has given me a headache).

These things are HARD TO DO!!!! It takes practice. Hopes this helps!