Since i move out i'm better but why do i feel so terrible at midnight and the night? So miserable

[Against_the_current]

I know i should go to sleep but i just feel so miserable

[HerStoryUntold]

Could you possibly explain your circumstances on why you feel that way? (I love your username, I wish I could be the real me every day in front of society, but it crushes me and pressures me to put on a mask and say "I'm okay" when I'm not at all fine)

[Against_the_current in reply to HerStoryUntold]

Hi. Thanks. I'm Exposing and embarassing myself but i'm authentic. I just have this urge and i have nothing left to lose. Also i used to be named Glonk here but ppl told me to change it so i came to the Real Me. I also thought of RM who used to call himself Rap Monster but then gave up on that name (Glonk is a kind of monster too tho harmless). I'm in a very difficult complicated situation. In november 2020 when i was at dad's because mom scared me i found out his girlfriend was pregnant and i lost it then. I hid it for a long time. It was killing me. Mom drinking. Sis is a teen and suffering. Soon mom had a tantrums, treating to send me and sis to dad and the new family and sis started crying. I wasn't able to eat or sleep, just walking on eggshels there so i move out. And now at night i feel terribly afraid. It's a long story, i have a lot of posts about it. Here i might get something wrong because it's hard speaking about it. Also my therapist is terrible and she's making things worse