I'm new here.. I wish to know if others have felt the same as me? And how to cope with it?

[talash]

My life is ok, it could be way better than many people's. But I'm still stuck with my past and not able to let go of my regrets. Many times in life I was given 2 options to choose from and I was not able to decide. I am always confused. Whatever options I have chosen from the last 2 years have caused me a lot of stress and depression. I am still not in my best position but at least I have the opportunities now to make myself better. But I am not able to focus, I keep on thinking, "if I had done that or I wish I hadn't done that".. How do I forget these things and focus on my present? My mood is always sad because of this. How can I get my energy back?

[Marysblue]

The past is gone, we can't change it. Maybe get into some mindfulness books, YouTube videos like Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer. Power of now.

We all make mistakes and that's how we learn to make better ones. Forgive yourself, humans all make mistakes.

[CaptainCrunch]

I am 45, male, husband and father of three. My struggles sound very similar to yours. I am learning a lot about childhood trauma and toxic shame.

I didn't grow up in a very stable home. Life is, was, and has been a tooth and nail battle with very little room for mistakes. It has been super hard to give myself the Grace I easily give everyone else.

Sorry I don't have any quick answers but I hope you know you are not alone and I believe I will get better once I develop a healthier perspective of myself and my past. It may just take some time.

[Adlon57]

If you can get an answer to that, bottle it and sell it, you would be a multi billionaire! It's called depression, everyone has that regret, failed ambition, if only.... turn the page? you never know what might be just around the next corner?👍👍

[Megapanda]

I can totally relate to this . I spend a good five years of my life stuck in a rut so to speak . I know I can't get that time back but instead of punishing / hating myself for it , I look forward and think about how I can improve and make my life better. Nobody knows what our life would be like if we took option a instead of b . What I find helpful I set myself a goal and work towards that everyday , even if it's just one very small thing towards it then at is a great achievement . And some days when I don't do it , I just start fresh the next day .

Journalling really helps , writing down my thoughts and feelings stops them from going around in my mind and also can help me see things that I miss or from a different perspective. Writing down things I am grateful for small or large things and what I am proud of and what I enjoyed . And again it doesn't have to be a massive things. I can be getting out of bed and showering on days when depression is being a ....

Mediation is also really good to help stay in the present moment and helps me with my anxiety .

Doing activities you enjoy and going outside for walks or exercise .

And if you are still struggling speak to doctor or therapist.

Wanting to change and improve your mental health is a great first step .

🐼

[cbgrace1980]

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I think a good place to start is by talking with a counselor or a doctor about how you are feeling. You are not alone, and we are here for you anytime you need to vent. Hugs to you.