It is now almost 11 months since I have seen my son, his wife, and my two grandchildren. The details are not as important as the fact that I am continuing to have difficulty dealing with this. I feel helpless and powerless to change this present state of affairs. Attempts to contact have all been rejected or ignored. I feel shunned. I need some strategies to help me cope better with this situation.
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Do you have somebody you can talk to IRL about this - maybe somebody who knows your family? Without knowing more of the backstory, it’s hard to know how to respond.
Yes...I have my husband and my younger sister and they are both great support. We just struggle to come up with positive ways to deal with this. Do I keep trying to make contact and deal with the rejection over and over? Does my trying to contact make things worse for my son and grandchildren? Do I give up completely and pretend that they are all dead so I can mourn them and not expect to see them again? I don't understand how my son is dealing with all of this. We were very close. I don't know how my grandchildren are dealing with this. What do they think happened to us? We used to see them every week.
I am estranged from my daughters and have been for many years .. It is most painful.. I have learnt to accept the situation now and work on improving my life for myself each day.. I continue to send love out to them daily and wish them well
That is very positive. I hope to be in your position some day. How did you get to this acceptance?
I gained acceptance by realising the situation is out of my control.. By doing so life becomes so much easier and bearable.. One day the penny will drop for you also although, I am unable to say when unfortunately
I also Let go and Let God... By placing my faith in a Higher Power helps me move mountains for myself.. I say the Serenity Prayer each day too 🙏
I have never been through what you are going though. That is a very tough situation. I have struggled with loss and anger and depression and anxiety. But you have brought to mind something I would like to start practicing again. 27 days of gratitude. It's where I wake up every day and write down at least 5 things that I am grateful for. I find that what I focus on expands, so if I focusing on things I am grateful for, even when it is hard, does help me feel more positive. I hope this is helpful.
I have an adult daughter from which I am estranged. Long story, but I did nothing to warrant this and it was her decision. I often remember that she is my baby and I love her. Other days, I am angry about her decisions. But I know over time, like everything else, I will be distanced from her but the love will remain. You cannot control these things and you can only decide how you will cope. I wish you success in your endeavors!