Self critical thinking

[mrmisterly]

Hi everyone, I’m new here! 👋🏼 Does anyone have any tips for getting away from negative thought spirals and self critical thinking? Depression creeps up on me when I start knocking myself or comparing myself unfavourably to others on my head - “they can do X, why can’t I do X? I can’t do things” - it’s silly to sabotage yourself and I know the thought pattern eats at my self esteem, but I wish it were as simple as just not doing it!

[herathesunflower]

I remind myself that I would never be that critical about someone I loved. So I shouldn't be that critical of myself because I deserve kindness and love simply because I am a human that exists.

[samack]

Wish I knew. Then I'd be a Nobel Prize winner. A lot of us are stuck on this track. For me, the right med calms my incessant negative self talk. I'm trying other things too but the verdict is still out. Generally some cognitive work goes along with it. I listen to Buddhist teachers many nights on YouTube. All cognitive, self compassion stuff. Hope you find something in your explorations.

[purple_elephant42]

I've gotten into transcendental meditation and it really helps slow down and center your thoughts. I usually turn on some binaural beats and light an incense to settle in, and I try to do it first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to sleep. Guided meditations on YouTube are fantastic too (check out Michael Seeley if you're looking for a bed time one).

I also agree with what herathesunflower said below - once I switch my line of thinking to "what if someone I loved was saying this about themselves?" it helps me realize that these are simply my own thoughts and no one else is thinking about me this way, and just because those thoughts exist doesn't mean they actually hold any weight. Thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky, and we can pick the ones we decide to focus on and pay attention to. It's much easier said than done, but I have found this gets easier to actually apply in real life the more I focus on daily meditation.

If you need to chat or would like any meditation references, you're more than welcome to DM me! I'd be happy to share best wishes!

[Blueruth]

That’s shame. For whatever reason you have set expectations for yourself such that when it doesn’t work you feel like failure. The antidote is compassion and empathy for yourself and others. Shame is actually learned and so is empathy. You could twist this around:”they can do X, why can’t I do X? I can’t do things” into “they can do x, wow, I would love to be able to do that, could I learn?” There you are being curious about the skill the other person has and being compassionate to yourself. Nobody can possibly have every skill… we all have to learn when we are ready.

These are skills you can learn in therapy or in books and then with practice. It isn’t simple but you are asking the right questions.

[Midori]

Hi there, Welcome.

Self-critical thinking, in my opinion is hard-wired into all of us; from the 'I wish I could do that' upwards.

We all do it from children.

What I do (and I get it a lot, being physically disabled as well as having CPTSD) is try to deflect it by saying, 'but I can do this, this and that better that they do'.

Build up the thoughts of what you do that they can't, and it makes a world of difference. For instance, can you play an instrument, draw, paint, do crafts, dance, sing?

Are you good on computers, games, etc?

Do you rockclimb, swim, waterski, hanglide, horseride, dog train, or cook and make brilliant meals?

There are so many things, and I bet you do some better than anyone else you know.

But why do you feel it has to be a competition? being good enough, is enough. Not everyone is a mastermind at everything.

When you get that little worm of doubt, throw it out and stamp on it. You are good at the things you are good at, and it doesn't matter a rat's butt what anyone else thinks.

You are the best at being You!

Cheers, Midori