The last week or so has been hell on my mental health. I've realized things about myself I never thought possible, lost my relationship of 2 years, and am now going on a journey of self-discovery all on my own. All of this while also going through the onboarding process for a new job, in a new field. To say I've been anxious and depressed is an understatement.
I want to reflect on some of the positives I have in my life, and I encourage anyone reading this to post their positives in the comments. I think it's healthy to remind yourself of the good things when you're down, so it doesn't all feel like darkness.
I have my family, and though we don't always get along the greatest they've all banded around me through this to offer support and distraction.
I have 1 friend, only one because I've done a really good job of secluding myself from relationships, but I do have her and we'll be getting coffee later today.
I have my apartment, and I'll be able to keep my apartment for the foreseeable future. It might be tight financially, but I will have my place of comfort.
I have friendship, and companionship with my ex. We might not be together right now, but we've figured out how to coexist in our apartment for the time being. We're figuring out how we can be together, but still have our own space which is something we both struggled with during our relationship. I'm grateful that while I don't know if we'll be able to work out our relationship, that we can still be friendly. If it is the end, we can gradually separate from each other rather than a hard break which makes it a little easier I think.
I have a great therapist, who speaks to me in a way that I need to be spoken to. She doesn't sugar coat anything, and forces me to see the error of my ways while also making my sessions comfortable and inviting.
I have a primary care physician who I trust, and has my best interest at heart. She knows my medical history, and knows that I struggle with an addictive personality and impulse control issues. She was able, and willing to see me quickly when I needed her, and was able to prescribe me medications for my anxiety and depression that are both strong but non-habit-forming.
I have this group, that has listened to me drone on and on about my current situation and hasn't once made me feel like I'm overreacting at all. It's also given me some good conversation outside of the comments with a couple fantastic people, and allowed me to vent my current thoughts. Sometimes it's nice to write my feelings out like I'm writing in my journal, but have someone on the other side of the text to respond with their perspective.
I have hope. And maybe that's a little bit of a negative, but I try to be a positive person. I also very firmly believe in the power of suggestion, and routinely tell myself to speak things into existence. I believe that as long as I have hope for this relationship and my recovery, that eventually my ex and I can rekindle our relationship and start over new.
Most importantly, I have an opportunity to start over new. Be that on my own, or with my ex, I have been given an opportunity to reset myself and become a better person. Now is my time to work on myself, and become the happy, healthy, financially stable adult that I always dreamed I could be.
Maybe Our Pain is a Blessing in Disguise
Need opinions on a cause of my anxiety - my girlfriend
Having a difficult time supporting my spouse!
Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Blessed day!
My life is so conflicting right now
