Sharing with others

[lewis1]

I do not know if this will help any others but- I spent 15 yrs as a cop in London both uniform and CID when I left I gained work over the following yrs Private Detective, Bodyguard, even store security. In all that time I rarely let myself feel emotions, due to the work. Those friends I did meet in the private sector let me down several times very badly.

Now I sit and think, ponder, read about my PTSD , Depression, Anxiety and previous attempts at suicide , not going out, no close friends. I have decided I have let my life be governed by no or little real emotion?

Having pondered this I have and will try to allow my self to have emotions, allow myself to cry when needed? Gather a few friends I can write to in general conversation then who knows may happen. Nothing to lose. This is just my thoughts. Take care all.

[b1b1b1]

See a psychiatrist and consider antidepressants. PTSD is understandable and treatable. You should not have to live like this. Post as much as you want and answer others questions, The. people here are very kind, helpful and supportive. You will get to know some people and form friendships. Internet friendships can be meaningful. Welcome!😋😋

[lewis1 in reply to b1b1b1]

My sincere thanks, I have been reading other's input and allowed myself to be more open in both my thinking and you are quite correct, people here are being open and honest. Who could ask for more. In return I will try to halp others or if unable to help directly at least give words of encouragement or just show I hear and care. Thank you again.

[CatLady1895]

I lived 10 years in a war zone where emotions could get you killed. Sharing was just Not Done either. I wish I could advise, but all I have is fellow feeling. I'm taking it day by day, using CBT to try to be who I want, not what others want.

[lewis1 in reply to CatLady1895]

I thank you for sharing, I value your words, never stop trying, good fortune.

[Midori]

Hi Lewis,

Former Nurse here, understand as nurses also are encouraged to keep the stiff upper lip, when we see so much suffering around us. PTSD and Burnout from not being able to show emotion is real, and corrosive to the soul.

Cheers, Midori

[lewis1 in reply to Midori]

Hi Midori, you are so right and sometimes it takes a while to fully understand what is happening to you. It took a little while to identify my problems/issues and like a cancer of your emotions it gnaws away in the meantime. I hope I have found the right approach for me now but time will tell. Hoping you are ok, stay safe.