Driving panicky feeling

[Serinus]

I'm new here. I am struggling with a driving phobia, which has been with me on and off for years. Mostly off, but I suddenly had a panic attack while driving two weeks ago. I've been pushing myself to drive again, but it seems so slow to recover. I HAVE been improving, but I fear I won't get back to where I want. I'm trying to cheer myself along by saying "you're better today than yesterday," but it seems so ridiculous. And I'm missing out.

[Opportunity]

Hi Serinus! Welcome to the forum. Panic while driving is no fun. I once had a panic attack while driving and I was at a stoplight. I remember thinking, “Should I just open the car door and fall out onto the ground so people call 911?” By some miracle, the intense panic resolved before the light turned green. 🚦

[leaningonjesus]

driving sometimes is an issue for me to- for some reason, alot of bad thoughts occur while im driving. things like, "i wonder what would happen if i drove off this bridge?" or, "i should just keep driving noone will know if i disappear..." however i realize those intrusive horrid thoughts are all part of my anxiety and panic

i find usually what helps me is in the moment just saying out loud, "im driving to such and such right now." or taking one little step at a time talking about each stop sign or light or turn i come to. baby steps, instead of letting my mind wander to the big picture of life.

[Serinus]

Thanks for the quick responses! I think this is very specific to driving (and heights), as my life is otherwise fine. It may be age related. I watched my mom and grandmother gradually get more and more scared of driving. I'm in my 60s and don't want this to happen to me! I've been driving for 50 years or so! But it's already affecting my life, as my chief enjoyment is getting out to parks and preserves, and right now I can only make local areas. And unlike other phobias, this one IS dangerous. But I'm trying. But why can't I drive to a place I drove to three weeks ago?

[Jeff1943]

Most people who are subject to anxiety disorder are bound to be anxious about driving. I know I used to be years ago. So such a feeling is common and perfectly normal.

The way forward is to follow the advice of the great American philosopher Norman Vincent Peel who wrote: Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured.

Panic attacks aren't pleasant to say the least but their bark is worse than their bite. Nobody ever died of a panic attack. No death certificate has ever given the cause as 'Panic attack'.

So carry on driving but with one big difference. Accept your feelings of anxiety as you drive (for the moment), agree to co-exist with those panicky sensations for the time being.

Don't expect any quick improvement but just carry on accepting whatever symptoms your over sensitive nerves throw at you. Fear is what feeds anxiety and maintains that sensitivity.

So don't follow the flash of first fear with second fear. Just go on accepting for the moment in the full and certain knowledge that it's your sensitised nerves which are exaggerating by a factor of ten the normal caution that everyone feels when driving.

Do not fight the bad feelings, let them come. Fighting them only causes further stress and strain which maintains your anxieties. Just float along reminding yourself that you're a damn good driver, it's only nerves sensitised by anxiety that are tricking you into believing otherwise.

So keep driving, keep accepting the anxious feelings but do not pay them the attention they don't deserve. As time passes Acceptance replaces fear and anxiety. Nerves lose their sensitivity and normal confidence returns.

All because you agreed to accept the bad feelings for the time being. This is the way forward for drivers anxious about driving. This is the way forward for all forms of anxiety.

[Serinus in reply to Jeff1943]

But, I'm hitting the brakes unnecessarily, slowing down, speeding up, feeling like my car is out of control. I'm NOT a good driver, not right now.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Serinus]

Serinus, I say accept the fact that you hit the brakes unnecessarily. Accept slowing down and speeding up without need for it. Accept that you feel that the car is out of control. The more you accept the less you fear. The less you fear the less adrenaline and cortisol you pump into your bloodstream. The less fear hormones you subject your nervous system to, the sooner it loses its sensitivity and feeling of anxiety disperse.

The word missing from your reply is 'Acceptance': the method that has helped millions recover* from anxiety over the years. Of course it's only a suggestion. It's completely up to you.

*David Barlow, Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry, Boston University as quoted in the biography 'Claire Weekes: the woman who cracked the anxiety code' (2019).

[Serinus]

I'll try it and report back ... and thanks!

[Serinus in reply to Serinus]

Well, I duplicated my route from yesterday, with somewhat less trepidation. A little less shaky. Perhaps the third time is a charm. I did practice some acceptance, pulling onto a side street at one point. I really am determined to overcome this, in spite of its being a total puzzlement. I don't want to be confined to local.

[despowell]

I’ve been going through the same thing. I’ve always had a driving phobia for years since I got into an incident with my car. It used to only happen when I would drive in rain but about 3 weeks ago I had a bad panic attack in the car and for at least 2 weeks I wouldn’t touch my car. I’ve gradually gotten into driving again but only short distances and mostly with my husband in the car. I fear that I won’t be able to make trips alone anymore as well out of fear. You are totally understood and not alone.

[Serinus in reply to despowell]

Despowell, I know that fear of not driving again! I'm trying to do the desensitization route, driving a bit farther every day - which is time consuming and wasteful, but may be working. My 3rd time up to a nature preserve a few days ago felt almost "automatic." But yesterday, I tried getting to another familiar place that is farther, and couldn't make it - but I drove longer than before - but shakily. I'll try Jeff's suggestion of acceptance and will likely try that same route again today. Feel free to tell me your next steps. We both had our panic attacks about the same time!

[despowell in reply to Serinus]

I’ve done the same thing trying to drive a little further each day. What I’ve also been doing is trying to drive more streets routes in case I need to pull over rather than interstate. If I have to use the interstate I drive in the right lane so if I need to pull off I can quickly take an exit or just pull over. That’s provided a little more comfort knowing that if I need to stop to calm myself that I can. It gives me some reassurance and luckily I haven’t had to do it yet but just knowing that I have the option helps. Also in the past when I’ve felt panicky while driving I’ll call someone and talking usually takes my mind off the issue until I can get to my destination. It’s so tough beating this thing but you can do it!!! The acceptance advice is great too I’m going to use that as well

[Serinus]

OK, third time was the charm on this route (as it was before). I drove the same route as the two preceding days, and even exceded it a little, this time with no shakiness. That's progress.

[CoryTrevor]

Well done. That’s huge progress. Be proud.

[Serinus]

I'm new and not sure of the protocols here - I'm more familiar with online bulletin boards were there are multiple, easily-followed threads, and updates are standard. So if it's not standard to give updates very often, I apologize.

That said, I drove today on the freeway, only 5 miles out and 5 miles back, but I'm not sure I could have done that a week ago. I keep thinking my driving phobia is just going to dissipate, partially or entirely, fairly quickly, as has happened before. And it doesn't seem to be doing that this time. I want to hurry this along - I am missing out on activities. I am trying to ward off fears that I won't reach the point of ease in driving that I want.

[Serinus]

Not sure what happened to my post from yesterday, but it was again a case of driving a bit further, successfully, on a four lane highway with stoplights. Today, same, but a different highway and a farther distance.

I do have a list of milestones. I am nowhere near being back to where I was a month ago, but I am definitely better than 2 weeks ago. And my goal isn't being back to where I was a month ago, but being back to where I was 10 years ago, when I could drive on freeways for more than 2 hours to get to a wildlife area I wanted to reach.

I have a couple more milestones on the 4 lane highways, then I have to start working on freeways. I keep thinking that I'll suddenly feel better, that something will "click."

[drummerboy1]

i had my 1st panic atttacl while driving on a major highway which also had those huge concrete blocks to keep you in the no construction zone/i got trapped about 6 inches from those concrete blocks by huge trucks going 80 miles per hour.i took the next exit about 5 miles away....i slowly started to stay off highways and large driving venues and i ended up with full blown AGORAPHOBIA and it has ruined the last 22 yeras of my life/i eventually sold my car and take taxis and have to eat xanax just to get froceries or go to a medical appt etc,DO NOT GIVE INTO THAT DRIVING PHOBIA OR YOU WILL GET SUCKED IN TO WHAT I HAVE/BE STRONG AND FORCE YOURSELF TO KEEP DRIVING PLEASE