Before I start, please know that I welcome and love getting responses to my posts. It’s extraordinarily validating and also in a very short period of time people have taught me some really neat new tricks to keep myself positive so please if you have anything in response don’t be afraid I love hearing from you guys!
Wow! I guess I really have come far in my personal development because I went from initial shock and devastation of losing my job to now seeing how it was for the absolute best. I am just a person who does not learn until I have suffered enough and the good and OK thing about that is that once I have suffered in a way that is meaningful to me, like losing my beautiful perfect job, my commitment to growing from that and improving does not waver at any point. This explains how I’ve been an addiction recovery for nine years. I’ve had slips but the suffering that I endured during addiction was enough to keep me committed for nine actually almost 10 years in recovery from multiple substance addictions. This is just one example of how I have grown so much as a person. I did not used to learn from my mistakes I used to blame them on other people I used to act like I wasn’t doing anything wrong I used to act like there was something wrong with somebody else or used to be in denial ignore it anything I had to do to make sure that I was not at fault. Because the ego of an addict simply cannot take that. Adickes are not pathetic or crazy or fucked up, they are fragile vulnerable suffering. End of story don’t ever refer to them as anything else unless it’s a long those lines to me because I will take offense. See this is how entirely determined I am. And it’s mirrored in my reaction to losing my job I literally thought I was gonna have to kill myself like it was the end of my life I was not depressed. That only lasted for a week and when I started to feel better I was like a new person. I’m going to therapy every week now I am doing multiple support groups online zoom meetings meetings to connect with other people suffering from the same mental health issues as me, I’m on this website at least three times a day doing what I can to help others and also using it as a way to process my own stuff and to share my life because I keep all this inside all the time. it’s a lot to even keep a positive outcome of a bad situation inside. It’s exhausting and when I finally do talk to people I just come on so strong because I’m so desperate to connect because I am constantly making myself go through everything on my own. But through these new zoom support meetings and therapy I am seeing how I am so deeply benefited in many many ways by sharing myself with others. This website was my first step and if anybody wants information on how to access the support groups that have zoom meetings please let me know I will share that with you it is A huge resource, it is for free there are dozens of topics ranging from pregnancy to mental health to spirituality. I can’t tell you how amazing this is because most people don’t know about it. If you feel, as I have felt about myself before, that you were just too unhappy and none of this kind of stuff can help you well then you have nothing to lose by trying it out right? And if you go into it with a negative headspace yeah you’re right it might not help you. However once you start actually communicating with these other people your perception of what is possible might change in a very short period of time so please please please if you’re going through anything don’t just reach out to people here reach out to people in other ways it is so important and I can see that now humans need other humans. I’m here for all of you I’m an addiction counselor I can provide evidence-based scientific Guidance in the area if you have any questions, I’m just here to support people and connect and process my own shit. Pardon my English. This is a long post because well it’s just been inside of me all excited for weeks and I’m just now sharing it with anybody. So this really long post that it’s just meant to update on people on the fact that I’m doing way better and I’m back to my old normal regular awesome self, the fact that this post is so insanely long I feel like is evidence and proof that we need to be connecting with people on a regular basis and not keeping bad feelings and thoughts to ourselves and also sharing our positive experiences. I love you all 💝💘💝💘💖💖💘💝💝💘💖💘💖
When I see suffering 
Wiorthless and inadequate- how can I build my confidence and self esteem back?
Feel horrible all the time and I see no end in sight
I just want to end it
I wanted to end it all
