You have been brought up in a wrong way. Unfortunately, until now, not a single society has existed on the earth which has not been repressive of pain. All societies depend on repression. Two things they repress: one is pain, another is pleasure. And they repress pleasure also because of pain. Their reasoning is that if you are not too happy you will never become too unhappy; if joy is destroyed you will never be deep in pain. To avoid pain they avoid pleasure. To avoid death they avoid life.
And the logic has something in it. Both grow together - if you want to have a life of ecstasy you will have to accept many agonies. If you want the peaks of the Himalayas then you will also have the valleys. But nothing is wrong with the valleys; your approach just has to be different. You can enjoy both - the peak is beautiful, so is the valley. And there are moments when one should enjoy the peak of sunlight and there are moments when one should relax in the shadow of the valley. The moment you say, “It should not be,” you have started avoiding it, you have started turning yourself away from it. You would like to be occupied in something so that you can forget it. You turn on the radio, television, or working in the garden to divert yourself, to distract yourself; however, that pain will be absorbed by the system. When you witness a certain thing in yourself it cannot enter into your system. It always enters when you avoid it, when you escape from it. When you become absent then it enters into your system. It will be there, you will take note of it, and it will be gone. It will be released.
Pain and pleasure are intrinsic parts of life. People are so much afraid of pain that they repress pain, they avoid any situation that brings pain, they go on dodging pain. And finally they stumble upon the fact that if you really want to avoid pain you will have to avoid pleasure. That's why monks avoid pleasure they are afraid of pleasure. In fact they are simply avoiding all possibilities of pain. They know that if you avoid pleasure then naturally great pain is not possible; it comes only as a shadow of pleasure. Then you walk on the plain ground - you never move on the peaks and you never fall into the valleys. But then you are living dead, then you are not alive.
Life exists between this polarity. This tension between pain and pleasure makes you capable of creating great music; music exists only in this tension. Destroy the polarity and you will be dull, you will be stale, you will be dusty - you won't have any meaning and you will never know what splendor is. You will have missed life. The man who wants to know life and live life has to accept and embrace death. They come together, they are two aspects of a single phenomenon.That's why growth is painful. You have to go into all those pains that you have been avoiding. It hurts. You have to go through all those wounds that somehow you have managed not to look at. But the deeper you go into pain, the deeper is your capacity to go into pleasure. If you can go into pain to the uttermost limit, you will be able to touch heaven.❤️
have you taken a good hard look at some of the people outside???
there are absolutely zombies out there - they just don't look like the ones in the movies!!!!!
BUT - they ARE infectious!!! we need to avoid them as much as possible because they're highly contagious and spread lies and negativity wherever they go!!!
beware! BOLO (be on the lookout) - zombies ARE REAL!
FYI - the real zombies do eat brains - just not literally... their infection spreads to the brains of those not careful - and eats their brains from the INSIDE!!!!
i'd now normally put a bunch of smileys and such - but sadly, this is NO JOKE.
Good description of politicians and the " talking heads" aka T.V. News readers
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Politicians are the mafias of the soul 🤣😂😂
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LOL I always thought of them as leeches
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Smhhhh leeches are brilliant, one of best treatment for blood clot 🤣🤣🤣
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Yes, dont insult the leech with that comparison🤣
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What would you compare politicians with? 🤣😂😂
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Maybe vampires or 💩
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Hmmm how about Day Walker? Half vampire half human 🤣😂😂
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That will do👍🤣
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In some respect yes.. IF you need your blood clotted... Otherwise they take from you and give nothing in return.
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I know what you meant. Politicians are blood suckers in that sense. Leeches are actually kept in our fridge for blood circulation. Their salivas are extracted to make hypertension meds 🤗
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Uh, oooooookeeey.... Big pass on that one. 🤢🤮 😆
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Usually people don’t really know what they need, you’re missing out big time 🤣😂😉
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Oh not really.. I once went swimming in a pond, back water off of a river.. Had the unwanted attention of several leeches...so I'll stick with the big pass.
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Okay it’s not painful at the bite site but it’s annoying 🤣🤣🤣
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It's also disgusting as ****. ! I can't abide any creature that makes it's living off my blood.... Which brings us back to Politicians.. lol.
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🤣🤣🤣 they do take blood maybe from cows perhaps but giving back their substance to make anticoagulant medicines which bring us back to the beauty of leeches😂😂😂
we may not want to participate - but their chaos is all around us... they force our participation to some extent... we need to strive to stay clear of it... but not possible to avoid entirely...
Ok Rob come back down 🤣😂😂. The key here is not avoidance I.e. the gist of this post. Like I always said be a watcher, not participant. When you are truly ready, you can drop any chaos you want in your life. As long as there’s still attachment, doubts, bargaining, familiarities, egos.... you won’t be able to have that balance ☯️
i'm assuming that means polish puke. i do NOT want to know how you would know such a thing; nor that you would know the difference between a polish variety, and a non-polish variety. nope - def. TMI ! 🤢🤣🤣🤢🤣🤣
are they not feeding you hiba??? besides, i thought you don't eat meat - or maybe red meat- which by the way - you qualify as red meat... so you really shouldn't eat yourself - you're not good for you !!!!!
frankly you shouldn't eat any humans... it's not legal!
True Rob, gotta experience life to the fullest even through pain. Friction makes relationship grow and whoever can’t survive, then it’s not for you and for them. Enjoy the pain and pleasure as always there are two sides of the same coin. 😉
Avoiding the pain, the hurt is going to accumulate and fester in your whole being. Acceptance won’t stop the pain but release you from suffering. Be true to your core, find that true pleasures, joy that is home run to your heart Rob ❤️❤️❤️
Pain is part of life but it is not a necessity. People often think that the opposite of pleasure is pain but in truth it's just not having pleasure. Pain is it's own category. Now there is truth that we need some form of suffering otherwise we don't learn how to cope with it. But the idea that we should just accept that pretty bad things are going to happen isn't a good principle to live by to me. We should aim at reducing suffering as much as possible. And in doing so we seek to increase pleasure. For example removing things in your life that cause you stress and adding things that make you happy. The only issue when avoiding suffering comes form the fear of anything bad happening at all. which is not the same thing. Avoiding suffering and being afraid of everything going wrong are distinctly different in that you can avoid suffering while still acknowledging that there will inevitably be down times. The death of a dog for example. But to avoid everything because you are afraid of something wrong happening is not the same. It's not the avoidance of pain that is the problem. It's the fear of bad things happening that is the problem.
The other thing I would like to touch on is that the whole concept of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is deeply flawed. Because there are times when what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead. Things can happen that have irreparable consequences that leave you worse off in general. I like the sentiment but again it's not the avoidance of pain or suffering that is the problem it's the fear of anything bad happening at all. And also to feel great joy does not require the greatest pain and vice versa.
Sorry if this sounds judgmental, it's not meant to be. I see this as a philosophical topic and that is one of my particular interests. So I am looking at this from philosophical standpoint. I like discussing ideas like this in general.
You can witness your pain but acceptance makes you not suffer further. Sadness and happiness work together, there’s beauty in it when you get to experience them. When you live life to the fullest, you don’t cling on things, you don’t weep but embrace death as it exists in the now.
I would disagree that you can just accept your pain and thus not suffer further. This is the sisyphus argument in a nutshell and I just don't see a way in which you can push the boulder forever and just be okay with that. I do agree that you must accept situations and accept the pain you feel. That is true in the sense of not making the situation worse by ruminating or trying to change what you cannot. But that in and of itself won't necessarily take the pain or suffering away. I don't believe that happiness and sadness work together at all. They are distinct and separate. The idea that I need to feel one to feel the other makes no sense to me as I can experience the lowest of lows without ever feeling the massive highs in life. Same thing goes for happiness. I can experience true love and wonder and awe without needing to exist in the darkness.
As far as attachments I agree that clinging to things is more often then not bad. And there is truth in that if you fear death to much you will miss out on life, meaning not take risks. Which is true.
Transformation is painful. There’s no way around it, it’s part of your enlightened journey. Sadness gives you deep roots to grow branches of happiness. True love is loving yourself then you are love. You can’t welcome true love without being blissful with your own company, your aloneness. You don’t cling on how the other person makes you happy. It’s your existence of love and joy.
I don't think that all transformation is innately painful. I can learn to be better at conflict resolution and transform myself without pain. I can also transform my opinion on things like politics or philosophy without suffering. Also, not all sadness leads to happiness. Sometimes things are just painful and that is how they remain. There are things that can happen in this life that are truly terrible and I don't see how you would pull happiness out of it. I agree that you need to be happy with yourself in order to love yourself. But that does not entail that you have to love being alone. We are social by nature and not having anyone around all the time is not a good thing no matter how much self love you have. You are 100% right in that you shouldn't cling to other people to make you happy.
You already realized things happen no matter how much you tried to prevent or avoid them. That’s the first step of acceptance. For me, meditation brings me to the utmost bliss when I have no mind, a non-doing state. Once you are complete by yourself, you are love that is when it overflows then you can share with others. That’s the aloneness I’m talking about. You don’t lock yourself up but ofc share your company, your love and joy with others.
I mean I don't see why you would need to wait to share your joy and love with others. You can do that without having great love for yourself. You can also understand that others can't make you happy without loving yourself. It's like the phrase you can't love others until you learn to love yourself. Which is just not true.
There’s no waiting as life keeps happening. If you don’t truly have great love for yourself then the kind of love and joy you are able to share is superficial. You have to be content with yourself first before you can extend to others without chaos.
So a parent cannot love their child unless they fully love themselves? I do agree that it's necessary to work on yourself and not liking yourself leads to unhealthy actions, most of the time, not all the time though. But love is not conditional to things. You either have it genuinely or you don't. Can it negatively affect a relationship sure. Does that mean it definitively will no.
People like to say the word love but they don’t truly understand the meaning of it. Parents say they love their children but they like seeing the images they would like to mold their children into their expectation. Unfortunately, they keep passing down through generations. True love is freedom and relationship is a transaction whether it is going to be a success or failure. It is an investment that both people have to put in if they want the transaction a success. There’s no condition to true love.
Exactly my point, so then why is love tied to whether person loves themselves if it is unconditional? Or are you making the claim that anyone who doesn't love who they are is incapable of love, at the very least in the moment? Also, I think that is a major assumption on your end of people not loving their kids properly. I do agree that we can go about love in bad ways, but that doesn't invalidate the love. Parents make mistakes all the time and just because they do doesn't mean they don't understand love or that they are doing it wrong. Their actions by themselves is wrong the love is not. Say a parent is too overprotective of their child. The action of over protection is wrong but the love is very much real and valid.
Love starts within and flows outwards. It doesnt begin somewhere outside. Once you love yourself, you become loving or you become love itself you could say. A parent protecting their child is animal instinct. It's not love neccesarily.
It doesn't have to be a parent though I still think that is valid and love rather than just an instinct. But I could say the same thing for any relationship. Even friends. Are we really making the claim that I cannot love anyone or anything until I love myself first? I think that is incredibly flawed and invalidates a persons real feelings. I can love my friends but have issues with myself. I can love my pets and still have issues with myself. Unless we are saying all of that is an instinct as well, in which case how can you possibly define love? if not for intentions and feelings then what is it? Because if I don't love myself but tell you that my intentions are pure and I genuinely love my best friend you are telling me I am wrong then.
I just want to reiterate that I am not trying to hurt or offend anyone I am just enjoying this philosophical discussion. I am not offended by any statements and I hope I haven't caused offense either.
You can still be friendly and caring to another but the more love you have inside, the more that can be shared. I'm not saying there is no love inside you . You have something to share with others. Unless you completely loathe yourself. Then what will you share? Just pain and anger. Who wants to be with someone who hates themself? No offense taken. Just a fun discussion.
I agree for the most part. But I still don't think it's required to have self love to love another. I absolutely agree that having self love can allow for a deeper connection as a person can have more healthy habits but you can have those habits without the self love as well. Even if a person fully loathes themselves they can still have valuable friendships and love. Will there be rough spots, absolutely. But that in no way impacts on if I can deeply care for another or if they deeply care for me. As we all agree love is unconditional.
I don't think you can learn love, in the sense that you can't just learn to love something or someone. If you are not happy with a person or object for whatever reason then that is what it is going to be. So I would say love comes from within. It comes from building up feelings for someone as love is caring deeply for someone. That is a very simplistic and basic understanding of love but it has that element of it. There is also connection and chemistry. All these things play a role in love so it does in a sense grow out of you but not for one particular reason over another.
The pain isnt supposed to be so much but we've avoided it for so long that it's like a wound that's been festering. Now there will have to be some serious pain now to fix it. It cant be avoided anymore though. Once it's fixed you can have a fresh start and feel what it's like to truly be healthy. Then you can soar to your peaks🦅🏔🙏
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It comes down to avoidance and we know it won’t get us far. When we can see beauty in pain, even in death as the peak of the crescendos of life, you will embrace it with ease. ☮️🕊🌈🙏
Thank you I was just saying this yesterday. I am dealing with things I have put off for years, and I don't know how to navigate, the floodgates are open and I am able to feel things I never knew I had the capability to because I am finally getting in touch with my emotions.
You’re welcome Tidus. I’m glad you are able to process and in touch with your feeling. Don’t dwell in it but welcome all the possibilities as part of your life journey. Have a peaceful day Tidus. ❤️🌈☮️🙏
Life in balance. Yin and Yang. That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Personally, I find that almost any physical activity is a good release of stress. It gives (me) something help to (me) work thru almost any problem or stressful situation. As opposed to avoidance.
"Almost" and not all.
My mantra " Out of the head, thru the hands and into the work" . For myself it's gardening, model building, walking in the forest or the mountain trails, doing tractor work fir my neighbors etc.
Much like jogging, aerobics, hiking, cycling and so on.
Meditation is also a great way of " problem solving. " Active Meditation/ Mindfulness "
Bottom line, life is a journey. A road taken is both smooth and at the same can have blind corners and ruts. It depends how you approach each that determines how that journey proceeds.
It not often easy. It's not supposed to be.
Otherwise how do we grow or experience and learn?
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Exactly Lazaruslong, ☯️ ying and yang, hot and cold, that’s the balance needed for our core of existence. Muscles won’t grow if we don’t put some stress into them. They sure hurt the next day but the pleasure out of it is tremendous. Enlightenment is a journey, not once and done.🙏
That is so very true and what an excellent way to say that pain is inevitable but out of pain comes joy.
Excellent piece KoKo.💜💜💜💞 xxx
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Thank you Alicia, I feel this resonates with you so much as your profile name crazyfitness, despite any type of weather or body condition, you manage to get your power walk on and enjoy the fruits of your labor.🤗 Have a wonderful rest of your day Alicia 🌈☀️🌻🌸💐❤️❤️❤️🙏xxx
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Thank you KoKo, really lovely of you to say. It such a well written piece.
But on a serious note. I believe Hiba is a minor But has a good head in her shoulders. Drink in moderation, don't let alcohol destroy you. I've seen it happen to others
Almost destroyed me🙁. I was lucky. I still have to drink but not overdone it much.
That’s one of the most insightful posts I’ve ever read. Sam Harris wrote a book on this topic.
“most of us spend our time seeking happiness and security without acknowledging the underlying purpose of our search. Each of us is looking for a path back to the present: We are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied now. Acknowledging that this is the structure of the game we are playing allows us to play it differently. How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives.”
I have thought a lot about this lately, the almost mathematical game of pain and pleasure. If the joys of a marriage is an 8 and the pain of a divorce is a 10, is it worth it? The pain of working out vs the pleasure it brings. The pleasure of eating ice cream verses the discomfort of a sugar crash or being fat. We all walk through life seeking pleasure and trying to avoid pain and we arguably have no free will because our brains are shaped by our experiences and there’s even studies on parts of the brain where they know neurons fire and cause us to seek pleasure.
There’s also the geneticists standpoint, Richard Dawkins, that we’re all organisms evolved from the very beginning with a fundamental purpose to propagate our DNA, vessels existing to carry on those chromosomes, and all our desires for pleasure, food, sex, etc are there because they are the urges and desires that helped the organism, life and the DNA survive.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge on Sam Harris’s POV. To me, the moment we start seeking is the moment we are lacking. Be... not become. Being in the moment, living in the Now and welcome all parts of life. The body is the base, when physiological needs are fulfilled, psychological needs arise.
Based on your name and view I’m surprised you haven’t heard of Sam Harris. He’s got all kinds of writings on mindfulness. I read a chapter of one of his books once where he explained in fairly simple terms the method of introspection and how to meditate. I attempted it and focused my attention in that manner and had a transformative experience, possibly opening my third eye. I felt my “ ego disappear “ completely and felt at “ one with everything”. I was not on drugs or anything. Despite this I don’t currently meditate and I was never able to reproduce that experience, but now I understand and have an appreciation for it. I get what the Buddhist monks are doing.
I practice mindfulness by looking into Osho teaching, a mystics and spiritual teacher of modern time. He encouraged people to celebrate and meditate. I raise my awareness through his guidance. No religions or practices have satisfied my understanding like Osho. I hope you will meditate in near future🤗.
That is the absolute truth, sister. That was how I felt every second when I was horribly depressed and anxious and made to take a medication that literally made me feel numb inside like a zombie, or I was too deep in the thralls of depression and anxiety to care. But in either case, I knew I had lost something fundamental that made me a human being
Tbh I believe humans are relatively primitive life forms in the universe. I believe we have an ego/personality and that we are also home to a higher being called spirit/soul/god. The ego is dominant and the spirit us there to learn and advise, if asked. Knowledge is released to us in accordance with our development. One day we will be allowed to travel the cosmos but not until we have become fully civilised, which is a long way off. It is the ego of man that creates the illusions of pain and pleasure.
Pain is a fact, there’s no illusion. It’s the desire to refuse to acknowledge the pain that creates suffering. You can find pleasure in all forms of joy coming from within. When we are nobody that is when the ego is dropped. Embrace all possibilities what this Universe has to offer.🙏
Being nobody has no ambition which is a form of ego. Once you live your life to the fullest, death is just the crescendo of life. Death is not the end but a beginning of new life ♾
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