Repercussion of Depression

I feel like I allowed depression to take so much from me. It altered me permanently and I let it without putting up a fight. I lost my love for soccer which is something that meant the world to me. I lost the people in my life that I was closest to. I lost my health and body and became morbidly obese. I lost my focus and drive when it came to school. I was no longer this person who went above and beyond when it came to school projects and assignments. I could barely put in the effort to do the bare minimum. I lost my sense of worth and started giving my body away to strangers. I lost my ability to laugh wholeheartedly. Along the way I lost myself and I don't know if I want to be found. I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me and it can never be fixed even if I find all the things I lost to depression and mental illness.

[lillyofthevalley37]

Hi there sorry you are feeling down have you been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and what medication are you on ? During the depressive phase of bipolar disorder you need a different drug to when you are manic but often people with bipolar are put on one drug to treat both depression and mania. Please know that things can get better and you can.enjoy life again , have you had a manic episode ? My husband has bpd and my sister had it so I know a bit about it

[Hidden]

Sorry u feel like that. Depression has done that to all of us but we pick up where we can. Yes we can not pick everything but there are few we can pick and from ur story I realize that weight is troubling u. U know what to do about that. U might not go back to soccer but you can after dealing with ur weight be involved in clubs and make it a hobby. Regarding ur school projects, who said that if u have reached a certain age u can't further ur studies. I know depression has the power to make one lazy but you can get meds, see a therapist and find other things u can do to make sure that you get better.

[Anxiety-guy]

I am 48. I was once a very great computer engineer. I lost my wife and I had anxiety. I first had a psychotic breakdown. Then I was stabilized but I was depressed like you. I feel everyday as I am on disability for anxiety and depression that their is no future for me. That 13 years of anxiety and depression took the best years of my life. And a couple of years ago I had a religious experience but I shoved it away because I like you didn't know if I wanted to change. But, and I hope you don't push me away cause you think I am a jesus freak. And I'm not preaching. But my depression hasn't totally lifted but reading the Bible for 2 years has really helped me. Keep going and don't give up. Eat healthier foods or take spirulina. You can get it at whole foods or Amazon. Its algea and has super amounts of vitamins and other stuff and it all gets absorbed in your body unlike manufactured vitamins.

[cbgrace1980]

Your life is not over. The race isn't finished. There are so many wonderful things ahead of you that you just can't see yet. Do you have a doctor that you trust? Sometimes meds don't work and it takes different trial runs to find the right combo. I'm praying that you will find joy in today, because I find joy in you!