A series of my problems (3/3)

[DemureRose]

With everything going on in the world right now, I know my problems are petty and childish, but they're on my mind, and I am afraid if I don't get them out I'll have an emotional explosion. I have three main ones and they're long so I just broke them up. I know I know...excessive, but I got nothing else to do. Enjoy!

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Problem #3-FUTURE

I have never considered moving away from my hometown. I mean sure I imagined how fun it would be to live somewhere exotic like Paris or Rome...but never for real.

I'm considering it now.

I have nothing but my parents keeping me here...and that just isn't enough for me right now. I want to experience the world. Not just the United States...I want to live in another country. Live somewhere where I wake up every morning and think "wow...I live here." I want to meet people who are new. Who are different. And unlike here, I have a way for people to begin a conversation with me. I'm American. People are curious. As much as I want to understand their cultures, they want to understand mine. It's a way in. It won't be enough to keep friends, but it could be enough to keep people around long enough for them to begin liking me for me. Nobody here finds me interesting enough to get past greetings.

I yearn for the immersion of different cultures and foods and just...all of it.

I want it so badly.

And I think I can get it. But I can't help but think beyond that. What if I fall in love with another country? Will I be able to build a life...a family...without my own there? Will I regret not being close to my parents after their gone? Will that regret be overwhelming? Will I be able to have children and know they won't be able to be close to my future nieces and nephews? Are those reasons enough to not do it?

All questions I have been riddled with lately. And I know it is sometimes inefficient to think of the future...but these decisions could IMPACT my future.

But I know I would never stop regretting not doing it if I tried. I have absolutely no reason other than my family to stay here. My career field is everywhere...more accessible in other countries even. I have no friends, so I won't be losing a social circle. I don't fit in here...I never have. There's so much unknown about moving to a different country...so much to learn. I want that. It makes me excited.

But is it worth future regrets...I don't know.

[FearIsALiar]

Same here !!