I have never been married before so I am new to what’s acceptable behavior. My husband did this to the door right next to me. Background story was he got mad at me for not picking what I wanted to do tonight. I wanted to clean the house and I said that like three times, but my guess is he wanted to play call of duty. He threw the hamper I had towards me close enough to almost hit me but didn’t. He said he wanted to do the laundry so I said ok fine and went upstairs. I then started to tidy up the bathroom he followed me there and I said I didn’t want to argue anymore that this was crazy. I said just go do whatever it is you want to do. I don’t like when he yells at me he kept cornering me in the bathroom so I said ok I am done with this and I start to slowly close the door. He stops the door and says don’t close the door on my face and I said I didn’t I just want to be alone please. He then punches the door looks at the door afterwards ands says I want a divorce. I said ok let’s sign because I know he would realize his word vomit. Then he asks why I was crying in the shower. Is this normal in a marriage?
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dailyblueberry0507
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Has it happened before? Do you see a pattern? All marriages are different, but your personal safety comes first. One of the cornerstones is trust. Everyone has an occasional outburst, but safety comes first and intimidation isn't healthy.
Ask yourself how it made you feel?
Look for a pattern because you don't want to be in a marriage where you are afraid of your partner. If you see a pattern find help and support even if it means therapy for yourself to talk about it so you don't feel alone.
This has happened a few times before and I do see a pattern. It is when he bottles other emotions that have nothing to do with me and then little things I do wrong turn into this. How it made me feel... well honestly I think I went numb just made sure to be prepared Incase things got worse adrenaline I guess was there too. I have been trying to get him to do therapy but this time he wants to. Let’s see what happens. Anyways thank you for your help it means a lot.
IM sorry to hear that the person you married ,could indeed turn into a mpnster,by that I mean the opposite to how he behaved before you got married, you sound quite young ,I doubt too if he would go to therapy especially during this Virus. iam glad for your sake that you have a dog-----please keep us informed your peace of mind is essential and that form of violent outburst takes away your right to feel safe in your own home.wishing you well.
Marriage can be hard, but no one deserves to be treated like that. It is important that the two of you can express your emotions without him turning aggressive. You should feel safe in your marriage. It may also be that he needs help to control his feelings. He may not know how to express himself. Are you happy and do you feel safe?
You guys are the best complete strangers but took time to help me make sense of things. I guess I need to set boundaries now. 💕Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Dailyblueberry if a friend confided in you and told you a similar story what advice would you give them? I’m sorry you’re going through this but it’s abuse! No he hasn’t hit you but I’m sure he made you feel uncomfortable/scared cornering you in the bathroom. Seriously think about how he made you feel and if it’s something you’re prepared to put up with.
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