First post

[RoughLife]

I don't know how thus site works completely. I just need someone...feeling abandoned and lost..I'm pushing 40 and have never been married...the thing that has been bothering me the most is I have not had any children...it hurts me to think about it. When i was around 22 or 23 i had a miscarriage at 3 1/2 months and it still leaves a hole in my heart...

[ReadingGuy]

We are here to support you. First, I would say healing is most important for that hole in your heart, Please ask for any help you need. Talking about things helps. I am 54 and my son graduated 2 years ago. Relationships and children need to be sought after you have a good support system.

[RoughLife]

It's hard to talk sometimes...i just get overwhelmed and just sit and stare at a wall or cry because I think about how i have no friends and my mother doesn't understand and doesn't try to

[Hidden in reply to RoughLife]

I used to stare at the ceiling in bed with my cat staring at me back 24/7 for years no joke. It was humiliating that my cat was healthier than I am,.

Chris

👀

You see Stinky Inky's pic ??

He's Beautiful, isn't he ???

🐱

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

He is beautiful

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

I'm taking care of my 84 year old grandmother so that doesn't help the anxiety or depression

[Hidden in reply to RoughLife]

Can your Grandma take care of Anything herself - or do you have to do most everything for her ??

Chris

👵

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Right now she can do alot but her memory is really bad...i have to remind her of simple things a lot. It mentally wears me down...

[Christiangal52]

Have you tried dating sites? Also, I am a Christian and I find that reading scriptures is comforting. Maybe that can help you.

[RoughLife in reply to Christiangal52]

Yes I do read scriptures and it helps some. Most dating sites are a joke..just guys wanting to get laid..

[Hidden in reply to Christiangal52]

The Christian teachings that helped me the most are always the Same..

You must Trust that God Loves you and Will help you, especially when things look their blackest.

Catman22

👏

My favorite is the Ultra positive Joel Osteen. Second is Joyce Meyer who has been through literal Hell on Earth in her life ...

A trick I use is to play these preachers in the background so your brain hears it even when you are Way too depressed to actually listen to Anything at all. It works...

Chris

👂

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I will put earbuds in and just listen to music. Sometimes nothing helps and i just lay and cry. I was molested from age 12-18..been homeless twice...spent 17 years with a guy that mentally abused me and used me ...many years i worked 50-60 hours a week while he sat on his ass..i put up with it because I didn't think i could (or deserved) any better. I since realized that I am better than him and deserve to be happy...just hard to get to the happy part. I at least got rid of him and the negativity

[Hidden in reply to RoughLife]

RL,

Can you describe how you survived on the streets twice as a woman when I know what kind of people are On the streets ??

You've got 23 years to live before you reach my age, so you've got a whole lot of living yet to do, so much time for things to get So much Better !!!

You have so much Hope yet -

You have So much to Live for, you just have No idea and can't see it right Now!!!

Catman22

✨

These are not just phoney words -

I am living this Reality. . .

I can help you learn how...

I admit it ain't Easy,

Chris

😅

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Luckily I still had a vehicle at the time so that did help. I would donate plasma twice a week for money to eat. Would sleep every so often at a shelter so i could get some good rest and shower. I pretty well kept to myself and didn't talk to anyone. It was hard.

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I feel alot older than I am. I'll be turning 39 in January. Feel like I have already lived a lifetime of experiences.

[CandiRayne]

Hey gurl I just joined tonight and reading your post I thought I was the only one in the world I just turnt 39 on 10/14 and its soo sad. I've never been married and never got to have a mini me. I worry all the time its too late for me. I to was abused every way possible for many yrs. And about 3yrs. Ago I got away from all that but like You I take care of my grampa who's 82 battling with dementia, poly neuropathy, and RA and its downrite tough. I cry alot. Idk how my body has water in it at times cauz ther should be a river inside my house. Idk what to do. It seems like I just really all ive wanted to do lately is sleep i can sleep 22hrs aday if I was allowed. I just worry tho somethin is not rite. I pray to God everyday and I ask Him to please let me be a mommy. I would be a wonderful Mom and to do my very best to keep him or her safe. I grew up very rough also. I have nobody who lives me my grampa he isn't my blood grampa but my mother has hurt me my whole life and as for my father well my mother calls him Peter Pan cauz he never grew up but he's been an addict since I was born in 81 and well mother she also has addiction i just found out about and its just downrite tough. I kno God has to have a plan for me cauz I'm not a kitty Kat and I feel my 9lives have been up. I just wish I had the answers. Thank you for sharing your post. It was the 1st one I've read and I'm so sorry all you've been thru but U are stronger than You kno cauz U made it this far. I thought this whole time I was alone and I somehow found this site this evening and I just connected to You. Well You be safe and strong and U have a blessed night. Sorry I wrote a book, TY for letting me share.

[Hidden in reply to CandiRayne]

CR,

I'm the opposite and am often lucky if I sleep 2 hours a night.

You're 22 years younger than me, I'm 61 and even though a guy one of my greatest sadnesses is I've never had any kids, and I of course always wanted "daddy's little girl" like any other guy does - boys would be great too of course !!!

I understand that you thought I were a girl because I talk in such an emotional way !!!

You ain't alone here, wait till you see the open and honest way everyone shares here. It's really amazing.. And you're safe from "predators" because they watch for that and have No patience for that at all !!!

Write to Anybody, and you will be surprised how many people will write back and so quickly too, even in the middle of the night!

Welcome to the Family and write again when you have the time,

Chris

Catman22

🆕

[CandiRayne in reply to Hidden]

Thank You soo much for your kind words. It was a miracle I found this site, it was a gift and I thank you and everyone for creating this, you kno everybody needs somebody and all the wonderful people on here im brand new i hope this message reaches U, im a lil computer illiterate but I just wanted to say thank you cauz for the first time in along long time I feel safe and I most definitely needed all the luv everyone shares its like a family in here like a TV show family I used to wish I was in as a child and now I'm 39. I would have loved to have The Waltons or Brady Bunch or even the Keebler elves have been my family. I kno it was just tv but it was an escape, like a fantasy family i guess. But i feel this is 100%real and im so grateful to have found this site. U have a blessed night well day ok.

[RoughLife in reply to CandiRayne]

I am the opposite as well as Catman22...i don't get much sleep. When I do fall asleep i don't feel rested when i wake up. Doc gave me tramadol but it doesn't help and am in such a fog the next day. I just joined myself. Was crying for 2 hours last night. I can understand addiction. My brother is a severe alcoholic and in rehab and i had a run of drug addiction but overcame that. My abusive stepfather kept me from seeing my real father growing up. When I left that house I was able to get in contact with him, but shortly after he passed away from MS. I keep thinking "how much more can I take before I snap completely. "

[Hidden in reply to RoughLife]

Sorry I somehow didn't see your reply until just now..

Two hours is a real long time to Cry !

Is there a particular thing or things you were crying about ??

I cried really hard repeatedly the day I turned 61 recently. I'm a lot better now..

Chris

😭

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Sometimes I just feel abandoned and not wanted. It's a lonely feeling that is hard to explain. I'm always afraid that people are just out to use me. I think 17 years of being used by my ex may have caused that. I just have never felt truly appreciated. I know my grandmother appreciates me.

[Hidden]

Hello🙋‍♀️ and welcome! You have come to the right place for support!

I just wanted to say that and to tell you that I am so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

[RoughLife in reply to Hidden]

Thank you ...by far that has been the hardest thing to cope with. I just tell myself that God called that little angel back to him to save it from a horrible life. There is still a chance for me to have a child and God will give me one when it is time.

[Hidden in reply to RoughLife]

Love this!😊

[Hb2003]

First of all i wanted to say sorry for your loss my aunts had miscarriages and i cried for every single one of them please let us know if you need anything or any support we are all here for you sending much love and kindness to you 😊✌🏻

[Christiangal52]

I can understand your fears. I wanted to have children but I never got too because of health issues, both mine and my husband's, and we had difficulty in our marriage too. He basically ignored me a lot until I lost weight. So for most of my marriage I felt ignored. I've always had to be the breadwinner, constantly working. I was abused growing up and I don't think my life will ever be right because of it.