Trying to stay strong: How do you deal... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Trying to stay strong

FifLove profile image
8 Replies

How do you deal with feeling abandoned by someone you’ve been with for 31 years. Especially when already struggling with anxiety and depression, and feeling more isolated due to covid. Been getting myself out of bed and going through the motions, but today I just can’t keep from tearing up and my teeth keep chattering from anxiety. Can’t talk to my family because they’re leaning on me for problems they’re currently having. Therapy appointment tomorrow, need to get through today...

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FifLove profile image
FifLove
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8 Replies

I am so sorry. What a huge shock for you.

Glad you have that Therapy appointment tomorrow.

For today could you just think of the basics. I mean basic needs,

Are you warm enough, drinking enough water and hot drinks. Eating enough.

Concentrate on your breathing, slow breaths in, hold, breathe out. Try to a count of 3 then increase to 4 , as far as you are comfortable up to 6.

Just try getting through today, hour by hour, moment by moment. Baby steps.

Should you tell your family at some point?

This is a huge thing, traumatic, don't you think you need to be taking care of you first just now?

FifLove profile image
FifLove in reply to Mary-intussuception

Thank you for your response. Nice to not feel alone. It’s very complicated what’s going on with myself and my husband. I’m not sure what the final outcome will be, but right now, he’s not interested in dealing with my “moods”. He is over two years sober and says he’s afraid he’ll drink. Funny though how I dealt with his drinking for so many years and put him first.

Anyway, just took my dog for a short walk, and trying to keep hydrated.

It’s very hurtful that knowing how I’ve been feeling, and that I have some health issues, he’s not even checking in on me. Only contacts me about picking up the dog for walks.

melloopy profile image
melloopy

I wish I knew the answer to that myself. I have been abandoned many times over my life including family and who i thought were friends. My ex left me while i was in the hospital for mental health reasons. He was 12 yrs with me. It's still extremely painful, and is always in the back of your mind with negative thoughts associated with it. I understand hun, I'm hear to listen.

DeadInside21 profile image
DeadInside21

You Don't. It's getting out of bed in the morning, putting one foot in front of the other & taking it Day By Day.

I can Empathize, 23 years married 26 years together & 2 kids.

After he had me arrested for domestic violence, which I didn't hit him - I find out a little more every day. EVERYTHING he told me was a LIE. H Lied to EVERYONE Else about me. He even LIED To & ALIENATED My Kids from Me.

26 years WASTED.

I'm Totally & Completely ALONE.

And Yes, I am contacted indirectly to Fix Everyone's Problems.

It's NOT WORTH IT

I'M NOT WORTH IT

terriltwin2 profile image
terriltwin2

I am so sorry for your struggle. I just want you to know that you are VALUABLE and WORTHY. Worthy of love and happiness. Start telling yourself you deserve to be loved , you are strong and full of courage and this to shall pass. I know it is really rough right now, I know the pain and hurt, when my ex husband did this to me after 20 years, I was saying, " why wasn't I enough?" " What did I do wrong?" After a few months, I realized it wasn't I but him.

Joshua 1:9, " Have I not commanded you? says the Lord." Be of strength and courage, do not be afraid or discouraged, I the Lord your God goes with you where ever you go."

Look up my child and see the brighter days ahead and I am praying for you. Praying that when you are in this stress, that you will feel the prayers and God's presence in your life, so that he may give you peace. Learning to love yourself is the greatest gift second to God loving us.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154

So sorry you are going through so much! Your situation is complex and your anxiety is understandable. You seem to be doing the right things...posting here, counseling, being honest and open about your problems,... All this is wonderful!

Using "Fake it until you make it!" or going through the motions is sometimes all I can do to get through the day. It also offers HOPE! In the past, it has worked for me, and when I am going through a NEW tough time, I believe it will work again. My strategy usually includes a devotional, prayer, exercise, good nutrition and sleep, talking to trusted loved ones and professionals, and journaling, along with a "to DO" list.

Everyone has different strategies but hoping and praying something here will help you!

Hugs to you today!!!

sunandbutterfly profile image
sunandbutterfly

Sorry to hear of the things that have been going on. I am glad that you are striving to take care of yourself in spite of what you have going on. How was therapy? Is this week looking any better?

Have you ever seen the movie Fireproof? There is hope for you. You are not alone. Please continue to take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

JW621 profile image
JW621

Therapy will help out. Don’t dwell. Have gratitude for now. Take care

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