Whats The Problem.

[smilezz]

The Problem is not my life now , This Is A Life Ive Prayed For , I wished For I Wanted So Bad , The Problem is Those Scars Inside , Those Brusese Inside Thats Not Going Anyway , Its My Dark Personality Caused By My Used To Be Dark Life , Abuisive People , bullies , Shame , Mistakes, Fear is Always around , I Never Know How To Forgive Someone For Making Me Feel Like Nothing And Worthless , I Never Know How To Forgive Someone Who used To Beat Me And Yell At me And Reminds Me Of How Much I Shouldnt be here in this world , I Dont Know How , I Dont Know How To Live Or Enjoying Life When At Any Moment Those Screams Could Come Back In A heartbeat , I Dont Know How To Rest Without Feeling I Dont Deserve It , I Dont Know How To Work Because Someone Used To Tell Me How Stupid Iam And how Useless I am , I Dont Trust Anything I Do Because Someone Used To Tell Me Everything I do Is Wrong , I dont have any intrest in human beings Because They Always Hurtfull , They Always Hate Me , I Have The Life I Wanted But I Don Feel It Because I Dont Know How To Be Happy , I dont Know How To Forgive That person So I Can Actually Know Who I Am .. I Dont Love Myself , I Dont Understand anything , I Never Knew Who The Hell am I , I Dont Have A Purpose And I Push People Away , And Sadness Wont do anything or change anything that happened or could happen or will happen , I Have No Hope No Intrests And no hobbies No Beliefs .. I Dont Know What else to say but .. Thank you for reading.

[tina1981]

Reading this hit me hard. When it made me realize I say I forgive those people that beat me and mentally screwed me in my head for 37 years. But did I really? No its still there and always will be. And I push everyone away. And nobody gets it i protect myself before I smell any fear of getting hurt

[hypercat54 in reply to tina1981]

You don't have to forgive or forget, but you can put it in the past where it belongs and move on with your life. If you can't then this is where therapy can be helpful.