Feel lost

Hello. I'm a sufferer of Clinical Deppresion /Anxiety with some Psychosis. I've been on same medication since my 20s. Just been put on Mirtazapine as my old medication has stopped working. Its Venlafaxine. I've had a couple of mental breakdowns recently. Been refused a Psychiatrist. Always think about suicide. But I have to carry on for my children 😔 it's so exhausting. Does anyone have similar experience? Thanks.

[kenster1]

hi welcome aboard sufferer of clinical depression myself and also a long term mirtazapine user.

[michellelogan in reply to kenster1]

Anxiety whole life.depression 30 yrs... Suicidal ideation since the death of my son..only child......i have been helped more from support groups than therapy.....paxil 30 yrs....maxed out dose. Recently Dr. Added wellbutrin. Xanax as needed for anxiety......

[kenster1 in reply to michellelogan]

I probably had depression long before my young son died aged 6 but just didn`t have any support till then or realise what depression was very sorry to hear of your loss sadly another thing in common.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

I'm so sorry to hear about your son😔

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

Hi. Hope you ok. How are you finding the Mirtazapine?

[kenster1 in reply to Hidden]

hi been on them for years worked well in the beginning but sort of wore off down to a quarter now hoping to come off them again its tough more so recently but I keep on going.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

I've had the same problem with Venlafaxine and Quietipine. Just don't want to gain weight with them 🤞 self-esteem takes a battering

[hypercat54]

It's quite rare in the UK to be referred to a psychiatrist but how about general counselling? CBT is usually the first option on the NHS so maybe try for that? Many regions use self referral now so check online.

[_Alex_]

That's so unfair imo that they don't think you should get access to a psychiatrist. Like you don't meet the standard... how high is their bar to give help to people?

Unfortunately it probably comes down a lot to the local area, as to how good the service is.

If your latest med doesn't work for you, then maybe try to get another referral.

[Hidden in reply to _Alex_]

Hi. I think it must be the way mental health are in this area. I'm so lucky to have a supporttive partner and my two children x

[UmeKobB420]

Yeah, I feel sorry for you. Its really bad when you reach the point that the only thing that's keeping you alive is how the family will feel if you die. Some of the same medicines you are prescribed cause that. I been on many mental health medicines since January 2000. I weighed over 315lbs, that depressed the hell out of me, I felt at though the doctor was laughing at me, more than helping me. I'm a vet - I tried all of the common meds a psych would write -I stopped taking them and started looking for things based on my symptoms and the medicines I am still taking trying to alleviate the side effects. I was on so many medicines at one time, I was walking around with my mouth open, I told the doctor who wrote the prescription, she laughed. I wanted to do more than choke her. I stopped taking the medicine. A lot of the medicines that are supposed to cure you can kill you. You have to take into consideration a lot of this, the food you eat, along with the medicines you take and the chemicals in your home all play a role in your health. As well as going out to different places. They all affect how your body respond to treatment. That means you have to take an active role in taking care of yourself. Like finding things you like to do, eating healthier - foods that are advised for your health based on your conditions. I found out, after all the 60 years, that bleach and ammonia, along with some other household cleaners can put you six feet under real quick. You really have to do a 360 degree turn if you want to get better. Find uplifting things to do, music, exercise - at your own pace - until you can do better. Spotify and JazzRadio are free online - for some great music of all kind. Do some things you want to do for once in your life - learn to be yourself, find a good book on something you are curios about or wanted to read but didn't buy the book. Never give up on yourself. Love yourself. When the children and grandchildren see the change it gives them hope that you'll be around for a long time and so will they. They look up to you, remember that.

[Hidden in reply to UmeKobB420]

Hi. Thankyou for your reply 😊 Yes, why do these doctors/Psychiatrist think that they know what we need and how we feel. We are the ones dealing with all kinds of thoughts and physical pain on a day to day basis. But you try to tell them and they don't take you seriously. It's enough to stop us from bothering to see these people. I'm dreading putting weight on with the meds. It defo dosent help our self esteem. That's some good advice about cleaning products! I'm going to stop using and maybe use diluted white vinegar instead. It's worth a try. Thankyou

[UmeKobB420 in reply to Hidden]

If you have the strength, you are going to have to take charge of your own life. You really have to find out what works for you, all around. Find your likes and dislikes. I've used bleach and ammonia for years. It wasn't until I had an asthma attack and almost died that I started re-assessing on anything related to breathing, indoors and outdoors. Scour the internet, bookstores, pay attention when you shop, what are you allergic to. What foods you need to avoid, not should avoid, but need to avoid in order to be a better response from your body. Its hard, take baby steps, you mess up, start over. That's normal. Keep trying until it sticks with you and you with it. I really have given up on the psych meds as doing anything for me. I gain weight, its changes the way my bowels works, my eating habits and I get real dumb - I mean dumb and with the little sense I have left, I come off the medicine. I truly thought I was on the right track taking psych meds - I've came to the conclusion, they don't work for me, they cause more harm than good. I live alone. I love doing things on my own or in groups, I like to travel. I never want to be burden -that's when you life really becomes a nightmare - being dependent on someone else to help. So, if you really want to help your self - get started, it can be something small - or improve on something you are already doing, but don't leave the rest behind. The psych meds are not for me. I've joined a psychosocial program in an attempt to conquer my past problems and improve on my present conditions. Decide on what you want out of life and go after it, sometimes you are going to have to re-think but that's just to set things in order. Stay away from stress causing/toxic people. Have some fun, listen to the music that makes you move. Read books you've always wanted to read, find time for yourself.