Mixed feelings

[Pizzaparty]

The thought of bond between a close friend weakening saddens me ... i feel so selfish because those around me have to live their lives but i cherish those im closest too

I often wonder if I’ve unnoticeably mixed my intimate feelings that need be directed towards a lover with my friends instead, i have intense jealousy issues with one friend in particular and I’ve addressed my feelings but now i wonder if my lack of intimacy with anyone else is leading me to believe i have deeper feelings for my friend but in reality im just confused and longing for a companion , i should at least date but i really don’t feel mentally healed enough to deal with anyone off a platonic level

I’ve never been one to focus on the idea of romance because I’ve been wanting to stay focused on my career ,

I’ve spent so much time with my friends I’ve grown clingy and i hate it! i cannot fall in love with my friends , nor do I don’t want to