So tired

[LoveBear]

I feel so alone

[Beevee]

Hi Lovebear!

Sorry you are feeling lonely. Do you have any hobbies you’d like to talk about? An interesting fact about where you live?

I’m listening ♥️

[brokenankle75 in reply to Beevee]

Hi there. I’m sorry you’re lonely but I know how you feel. I like how Beevee is trying to get you thinking about something else asking you a question to help you do that. I have my dog. It’s really lonely but blessed to have her.

[Beevee in reply to brokenankle75]

I have a dog too. He’s 15 months old and a cockerpoo. I wasn’t too keen on the idea due to work commitments but luckily my wife didn’t listen to me and got him any way! He never leaves my side and I love him dearly.

[brokenankle75 in reply to Beevee]

I have a morkie. She is about the same age and glued to my hip. Love her so much

[Beevee in reply to brokenankle75]

I had to look up Morkie! I don’t think I’ve met one in the fur just yet but do see a cross between a Maltese and a cavalier spaniel. Think it might even have a touch of cocker spaniel thrown in too but whatever it is, it’s fluffy, cute and full of energy.

[Poodie in reply to Beevee]

Hi Beevee, LoveBear, and broken ankle.

I have a cockerpoo also. He is slightly younger then yours. I posted a photo of him on the Well being in Isolation website. They are wonderful and fun dogs, and yes full of energy. Mine can be like my shadow. He is a great dog and I love him lots. He is 3/4 poodle and I/4 cocker spaniel. I’ve also had a border terrier, a Toto, and a golden who loved tennis balls. It sounds like we could all have a doggie play date with the ones we have now ! ❤️

[LoveBear in reply to Beevee]

I have a dog too - he follows me everywhere I’m just so sad not seeing the point in being here any more which scares me so much. My counselor is supportive I just can do any more any longer.

[Beevee in reply to LoveBear]

I’ve been through what you describe and want you to know that it won’t last forever. You made reference to being scared which is a very common symptom of anxiety. You have a thought which pops into your head uninvited which scares you. In fact, I bet you are feeling scared most of the day and exhausted yourself trying to find your old self. It all seems very bewildering and stressful. Am I right?

I also want you to know that things will get better when you understand why you are thinking and feeling the way you currently do. This might sound silly but it is perfectly natural under the circumstances.

If you don’t want to talk about it, that is fine with me but here to help.

I’d love to know more about your dog? What sort of dog is it and does he/she have a favourite toy it likes to play with? My dog has an orange ball and a slightly larger purple one, both made of rubber. He carries them round the house and loves having his chest rubbed. If you stop, he pulls your hand towards him with his paw.

[Beevee in reply to Beevee]

I just want to add that your tiredness is probably the result of you trying to do your best to feel normal which is very exhausting.

My advice would be to let yourself feel tired, let yourself feel down and stop trying to fight to feel normal. It is the fighting that is likely to be keeping you stuck with no apparent way out. Your mind and body needs a rest and to recover and the best way to do this is to let yourself think and feel all those scary thoughts and learn to watch them and observe them instead of trying to figure them out. Those thoughts are created by your anxious and tired mind and will disappear when you recover.

[LoveBear in reply to Beevee]

You are right - I’m scared a lot and exhausted trying to find my old self. I’m tired of trying to figure things out, tired of being a guinea pig, tired of doing everything suggested, tired of not getting better. My therapist says the same thing, “it will get better” I don’t understand why I think and feel the way I do...it’s just here. If you looked at my life I have it all yet hardly able to work, I don’t engage/socialize and I just want to sleep. Thanks for getting me to focus on my dog- he’s a 6 year old black lab mix we rescued 2 years ago. He loves tennis balls and soft squeaky toys - he also nudges me to get my attention and reaches out when I stop petting him - funny animals

Thanks for listening

[Beevee in reply to LoveBear]

My pleasure. Please listen when I say it will get better. I found my old ( much improved) self by learning to accept how I felt. It takes a little while to Learn be ok about not feeling ok but this attitude gives your mind and body the time and space it needs to get better. It might not happen straight away but those symptoms are all anxiety driven and will disappear. The old you will return all by itself. The only thing you have to do is keep moving forward with your life and living like you did not have anxiety. For me, that meant doing things even though my mind and body did not want to do anything. For example, If my anxiety was telling me to stay at home, I would go out. I just did the opposite, regardless of how I was feeling. If I didn’t feel like getting out of bed and go to work, I got up and went to work. It might seem like a tall order but things will gradually improve and all those symptoms will weaken and fade away.

I learnt all of this in a self- help book written by Dr Claire Weekes called Essential Help for your Nerves. It tells you all you need to know about why you are feeling the way you do and why you don’t get better (it’s all your constant questioning and worrying about those thoughts and feelings). Dr Weekes also explains the principles to overcome anxiety which I have summarised above.

Feel free to ask me for more help if you need it. I’m here most days and will always reply.

Your dog sounds lovely. Labs are nuts and very protective over tennis balls. When one pinches my dog’s tennis ball, it’s all soggy and squidgy and weighs twice as much when I eventually get it back.

[LoveBear in reply to Beevee]

Thank you for getting me through the night.

[Junella in reply to LoveBear]

You are fortunate to have a pet. I lost mine a couple of years ago, and it was depressing. I find that if I can force myself to do move and do the thing I don't want to do, it shows I have some control over self and depression. You are not alone in this because others sympathize and understand and so does God.

[Poodie]

Hi LoveBear.

I have been where you are. So depressed I could not function. All I wanted to do was eat and sleep, let my dogs out and feed them. I did not really want to do that either but no one was here and I would not neglect them. I got to a point I did not want to live or even move. I was scared I would never pull out of it. I do know how you may feel.

I agree, give yourself permission to rest and take a break. It is o k. I felt so relieved when I did that and stopped pressuring myself. I learned to just be with the depression.

Do you enjoy watching movies ? Let yourself do that if you can.

Try though eventually after you have rested more just to do one little thing for yourself that you have not been able to do lately. I mean it could be anything. Just a tiny step to take care of yourself. And rest again if you feel like it.

The next day add another tiny step forward. Make a list if you think that will help, even if the first and only thing on it is is brush your teeth, or pay one bill, or brush your dog.

Writing to people on here and taking those very tiny steps is what finally got me moving. I followed that advice.

It seems I can easily fall into that hole so I still go easy on myself some days. Then I was actually surprised once when the depression just went away.

That book br Dr. Weekes must be good. Several people on here have mentioned it. I think I will send for it myself from amazon.

Does your lab ever sit right on your foot ? My Golden was always nudging us too to get pets/ attention. Labs and Golden’s are such sweet dogs.

Have you ever tried meds ? I have taken an antidepressant for many years. They do help me yet sometimes my depression still breaks through no matter what.

Take care and please continue to post on here as to how you are feeling or post anything you want. It helped me to read others posts and reach out to them even if it was just to tell them they were not alone.

There seems to be a lot of people who feel this inertia now. Do you think dealing with the virus has had an effect on you and added to your stress ?

It is hard to find any purpose in life being so depressed that you can’t function. So give yourself some love and understanding. You are not alone here. Take care.

❤️

[Junella]

If we aren't feeling alone now, we aren't human, even if we are not alone physically. We all face uncertainty in our different ways. Many of us find it harder than others due to our DNA, background, experience, and circumstances. Put them in the hands of God and pray for deliverance from unhappy negative thoughts. Remember good times.

[c-mac]

I was depressed for years, usually multiple months, maybe even 9 or 10 months, out of the year. When I was down I could barely get to work, my performance was dismal, my love life evaporated — and most important, I was locked inside my mind just listening to my negative comments about myself around the clock. I spent years in Al Anon, thinking I was still suffering from growing up in an alcoholic family. That at least got me to the point of thinking that taking care of myself lovingly was the most important thing I could do at that time. That led me to therapy, and after a year or two more, to realize I had bipolar II — the kind that is predominated by depression. Once I’d come to terms with the idea of taking mood-altering medicine — which wasn’t easy — I got better. I still have troubles sometime, but with the right medicine and continuing therapy I can now deal with them. It’s led me to having a family, which for me is important.

[LoveBear in reply to c-mac]

Thanks for sharing - my dx is depression and am trying multiple meds (still difficult to accept)..nothing working - wondering if even the dx is right

[Thistooshall in reply to LoveBear]

Have you considered ECT. It’s really

Not bad and for resistant depression it really works.

[LoveBear in reply to Thistooshall]

I have had a lot of ECT treatments during 3 admissions in 6 months may sort of work temporarily then I head back down into depression. Had a couple bad experiences and vowed never to go again.

[Thistooshall in reply to LoveBear]

Oh wow. Well don’t give up. You will heal soon! We are praying for your speedy recovery.

[Starrlight]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[c-mac]

My diagnosis was bipolar II, but my sister had problems with her thyroid. It left her feeling unmotivated to do anything.