coping ideas for when you feel on the edge of not careing about everything

[luthien]

Hi everyone, it's difficult times right?

I was wondering if any of you have any suggestions about coping mechanisms / strategies / ideas to catch yourself when you start to feel yourself slip back into that black hole, off the top of that downward slide.

I think it's this whole being told what you can / cannot do for going out etc which is getting to me. Now I get completely why we (I'm in the UK) are in lockdown, and I'm fine with not actually going out socialising / restaurants / cinema; I understand the reasons. I'm not one of those whom would just go out anyway so it's difficult to explain to people how I feel; so I hope that others on here may get me which is why I'm reaching out.

It just feels like I have worked so hard for about 20 years to have a life, exercise when I want, have a great group of friends for sports, be able to chill, go to the cinema, cycle, plan for holidays, even buy a house - which I'm in a financial and emotional state to do so. But now . . . I just feel like I can't do any of those things, like what's the point even thinking / planning / dreaming when all of the actual doing that stuff is out of my control. I don't know if I'm making sense.

I'm happy chilling at home, I'm currently working from home which is fine and I can cope with that. I usually cycle commute twice a week, sports three times a week, cinema and meal once a week, I've put in a Decision in Principle for a Morgage, I was looking at holidays for September, now I feel I can't do any of those, which I completely get why and the reasons, I just think it's affected me mentally more so than I thought. I like to have control over what I do and have stuff set out, plans and all that, I know stuff doesn't always go to plan but all this . . . I've done the crying, the frustration, now it just feels like my brain wants to shut down . . . like it'd be easier not to feel or care or bother.

I've felt this way before, years back, at uni when I was doing a course I didn't really like, I slept lots, didn't socialise, didn't eat, didn't care . . . I'd get drunk every evening and go find a random club just so I could feel something - not the right thing to do. Not sure if that makes sense either but I really don't want to slip back into that - actually I'm not even thinking of that as a way to cope, I just wanted you guys to know how I've coped before - if that's what we call it.

I have my hubby and two dogs so I should feel amazing, my hubby is really supportive but understandably doesn't get what I'm going through or how he can help. I can feel myself slipping off that slope and want to bring myself out of it. It's great to have dreams and goals but I just want to feel useful and in control of some part of my life. What do I do? What can we work on together?

Any help appreciated, thanks for reading xx