I wasnt sure what else to put at this moment so this is the basics of just me

[Ghost_710]

I've reached a point of loss in my life with no direction or motivation. Growing up a product of obesity and bullying made me shut down at an early age most social cues elude me and I struggled with school only to ultimately drop out. Loosing my father at 15 began my downward spiral of destruction with drugs that lasted 7 years now at 28 I use excessive amounts of food consumption and tobacco use as a "crutch" in attempts to dull the pain and hatred for myself I feel like nothing more than an oversized burden to my mother and step father and truly believe deep down I dont deserve to be on this planet ok not suicidal but deep down i believe i dont fear death

[Dolphin14]

😢

Are you in counseling? You need some better coping skills for yourself.

Any support groups around you can join?

You've been through a lot. Bullying has only come to the surface in resent years. The effects of repeated belittling need to be address so you can move forward and have a good life.

Don't give up on yourself.

[SpitFire2018]

I Too shut down at an early age; having ceribral palsey surrounded by "normals" I became THAT Bully. I'm Too "Normal" to be Disabled but Too "Disabled" to be normal. I Belong No Where!! Most days I Only get thru by Getting High!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Kainan in reply to SpitFire2018]

Hi. I have CP too, and I understand exactly what you mean.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I am behind on my replies. I feel for you, you have had a painful life, with little or no support, love and understanding. Can you go to therapy, a good therapist would help you come to terms with these demons. You would learn to love, like and accept yourself. That is what therapy did for me, I hated myself and had little regard for myself. It changed my world, I was 40, so go as soon as you can, yes you will feel nervous, but believe me the sessions are in total private, and the therapist has heard So much before we get to discuss our woes. It changed my life for me, oh it was painful at the beginning but well worth every step. I read a good book you might like to read, Dr. Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled" It was in the top 10 best sellers for 7 years, Amazon has it new/used. Please feel free to write to us here. I will look out for you Name and reply, I am sure anyone else that can relate will reach out to you. I send you Peace, love of self, self acceptance, joy of life, strength, love and hugs.....Sprinkle 1......

[Ghost_710 in reply to Sprinkle1]

I really appreciate this but unfortunately I am unable to seek therapy at this time. Even tho I want to very much unemployment has caused my funds to be completely depleted I am currently attempting to seek state medical aid to seek the help I want and need.