Good Morning 
I'm wishing you all a sign of joy today and every day. Please be open to the energies of the world, giving you an opportunity to pause, and get out of your own head to see a moment of beauty. Look up at the sky, take a deep breath and smile (even if you don't want to). Give yourself permission to look at the world through the innocence of a child. You see so many of us don't do that. We're taught not to. We have to be serious all the time, we have to remember doom and gloom. Climate change, racism, hatred, death, disease. I worked up my stomach into a knot just writing those things. I could list 50 more things that I personally add to that list, and in all honesty, I do. I add things to my "torture yourself" list pretty much on a daily. I'm used to it, I've trained subconsciously for over 40 years, to browbeat and abuse myself. As a young person, I was just tortured without knowing or really wanting to know why I was always so sad. Later in life, I realized it was pretty much mom and dad issues that screwed my head up. It was that and not having a person to talk to or a place I could consider safe (except the bottom of my closet). I set my closet up with a blanket some books and a lamp. I didn't last long because once my mother found it, that was the end (mother issues). I'm over 50 now, and sadly I've handed down a lot of my "not knowing how to handle things emotionally" to my girls. That really bumbs me out. But, the thing I think that keeps me hopeful is being a dumbass kid inside. I love toys, and puzzles. I love looking at the clouds to find shapes. I see faces in the oddest places. Like there's a fish on the back of the bathroom door (I see him every day ) I loved watching but butterflies and bees follow each other around the flowers I planted this summer. I take the time to see these things and let myself know joy. It's like the mind's muscle. I go to the mind gym and work out for a few seconds, and I do the hard work. I don't expect other people to fix me. I used to, but not anymore. My medicine is sharing. I used to share crap. I felt crap so I shared crap and I got a lot of crap right back. So I share love now, as much as I can. Don't get me wrong I tell people to "suck a bag'o d**cks" in my head when I get pissed off, but I don't let my "personalities" take over. I'll get into that another time. Until then, be well my friends. Stop and smell (jeeze I don't know what it smells like where you are so) the essential oils! lol Always with love...AU
Anxiety will not stop
Stop comparing yourself to others 
Just want it all to stop. 
I stopped my fluanxol 
