Rock Bottom (or very close)

I do not at all believe that I can make it through this. I have realized I am a more dependent person than ive realized and without her I am unable to have a Level head. I cannot stand not being in the business school and that combined with what I am going through causes me to not have any motivation for school. I feel so fucking alone it isn’t even funny I am about to break down right now sitting in class. I feel like a bag of garbage that has no hope for the future. I am going to end up jobless and alone after I graduate and hate myself even more. The darkness I feel inside does not seem like it will go away and I feel like a waste of space. I really don’t think I can do this. My mom is coming down to the college I attend right now to help and I’m just going to be crying in a hotel room for 3 days. I hate this. I want out of this nightmare. Every night I pray that this is just a dream but I wake up to the same hell every morning.

[Agora1]

Wholefoods, when you hit rock bottom (or close) you have no where to go

but up. I think that's great that your mom is coming down to the college. Right

now you need that comfort knowing that someone cares and loves you. No better

love than that of a mother. It's okay to cry. Don't hold back the tears. It might help

in releasing the hurt you are feeling right now. Know that this too shall pass. xx

[pwinston72]

Please get help with a counselor and psychiatrist. I have both and take meds. It has been some much better. I do all of that and most of all my faith in Jesus Christ who is bringing me through this. I am not trying to be religious but I am just sharing what is working for me. The struggle is real everyday. I celebrate my good days and realize my bad days are just that a day. I play praise music and pray a lot and the darkness goes and heaviness leaves me. God has been my defense against fear and anxiety and depression!!

[Hidden]

Hopefully you get some support from your mom while she is there with you. I think it's important to get those feelings out instead of holding them in. If you feel this unmotivated by your business school maybe consider postponing your courses or dropping out for something you like doing better?