Thanks to everyone that has messaged me here previously on previous posts but I think I am just going to delete my account because I can’t really say anything here and everything is to much for me so I wish you all the best and thanks for the help.
Not coming back on: Thanks to everyone... - Anxiety and Depre...
Not coming back on
116 Replies
•
hi if that's your wish to leave then thats respected but please stay if you need support.
• in reply tokenster1
Hi again Kenster1 I am considering going off since I had an email from the support team here a couple of months back saying my problems can’t be helped here so no point in me staying on here
kenster1• in reply to
no not at all we can offer support that's what its about after all.maybe admin meant we cant offer what you might need like therapy.
• in reply tokenster1
I would show you the email if I could but I can’t do that here but it had said that my problems just can’t be helped here. I have had to much happen anyway including my dog’s unexpected death just over a month ago so it is pointless with me being on here
kenster1• in reply to
hey its never pointless on here you need support and we will offer it.
• in reply tokenster1
Yeah it is that is why I haven’t come on here for about 2 months now. I have kept everything to myself so I am probably just going to delete my account
kenster1• in reply to
sorry to hear that its up to you but I hope you have support in your life to help you through.
• in reply tokenster1
I don’t at all nobody cares about me whatsoever. I have felt so many times that I just want to be dead so I am better off just keeping to myself
kenster1• in reply to
we care on here you don't mean that what you mean is that you want a better life than your current situation.hang on in there don't give up keep striving for better.
• in reply tokenster1
I am on antidepressants because I get suicidal thoughts and I have cut myself a few times but nobody that knows me cares how I feel so I don’t see any point in talking to anybody
kenster1• in reply to
talking is thee best way to recover without talkining we cant ever move forward it really is an important step.
• in reply tokenster1
I hear that all the time but nobody does speak to me. I would talk to anybody here on social media or even WhatsApp or something if anybody really did want to speak to me
hypercat54• in reply to
We care on here. If you have put previous posts up about suicide then you will probably be told you need professional help and the resources of the site can't deal with it. This is standard practise to avoid triggering others and you haven't been singled out as 'not worthy' or that no one cares coz they do.
We all speak to you - look how many replies you have had here and on some of your previous posts. We are all here and support each other and you are no different. Sometimes all you can do is post and not help others but that's ok as we all get like that sometimes. I find that helping others helps me as well so maybe do that more?
We are stronger with you than without you. Why not take a break and think about what we have all said to you, then reconsider? I hope you stay. x
• in reply tohypercat54
Hi hypercat54. I haven’t put up any previous posts even mentioning Suicide.
I wasn’t expecting this much of a response at all on here especially. I do read other people’s posts I just get afraid to say something at times in case I say the wrong thing.
I have been off here for 2 months already and people that had been talking to me before I went off the last time didn’t seem that bothered about it but I could be wrong I don’t know. I’ll think about it xx
hypercat54• in reply to
Hi sweetheart I am sure you would never say the 'wrong' thing if you are giving a genuine response. I have been pilloried on here too with others disagreeing with me, and put up similar posts to yours in the past. It's always the lovely folk on here who are so caring that I never realised I would be missed if I left and you would be too.
I think of this place as a microcosm of society where you can practice being yourself in a safe place with all of us understanding and supporting you. It would be a shame if you didn't take advantage of it to learn. x
• in reply tohypercat54
Hi. It seems anything I say in life even to people that know me a lot of the time is the wrong thing so I end up losing anybody that comes into my life at some stage. I am glad that you have got the support that you need. I have just felt in the last while that nobody would care if I was no longer around.
It is good that you feel it is helpful for you on this site xx
hypercat54• in reply to
Talk to us as we understand. x
• in reply tohypercat54
I didn’t think people would even want to talk to me but I guess I was wrong
hypercat54• in reply to
Yep very wrong! 
x
• in reply tohypercat54
Guess so. I didn’t think at all people want me to stay or talk to me
quieturban• in reply to
I care. Xox. I’ve been feeling that way too. It helps to talk.
Kkimm• in reply to
Hi Lolo
Do stay on the site, you can see now how many people care.
I will certainly respond as soon as I can.
I have never seen any of your posts or I would have responded. I always respond to posts that have not had a reply when I see them.
It sounds terrible what you are going through and Iike others, will help if I can.
You are not alone, things will get better for you.
Very best wishes
Kim
• in reply toKkimm
Hi Kim. I am surprised actually with the response here since I don’t even matter to people that know me.
Thanks for the response though and not everybody sees all the posts on this site anyway.
Thank you xxxx
• in reply to
You re talking right now
Dolphin14• in reply to
I'm sorry you feel the need to leave. I just wanted to reach out and say I'm sorry for the loss of your dog. They become our best friends our unconditional love.
I lost my dog unexpectedly two years ago and the pain is still so raw.
I know what you are feeling and I know it hurts bad.
Please take care of yourself. I'm new here but I see how supportive people can be. Even just reading makes you feel better because you know someone " gets it"
• in reply toDolphin14
I have been off here for 2 months already and I haven’t had replies on anything here since anyway so it is just a waste of time for me to be on here. Thanks I am struggling a lot without my dog she was a huge part of my life and they truly are our best friends and always there for you no matter what.
I am sorry about your dog. The pain of losing them especially unexpectedly is very hard and I can understand that pain you are going through.
Welcome to this site though I hope you get the support you need here.
Dolphin14• in reply to
Thank you Lolo I already feel very comfortable here.
Yes losing our fur babies is so hard. I never felt such love for anything in my life. It's a different kind of love. I have a family but there was something about my boy that melted my heart.
It sounds like people want you to stay Lolo. Now may be a time you really need support. It's definitely here for you.
• in reply toDolphin14
You’re welcome and I am glad that you do feel comfortable here.
Yeah it is very hard to lose them and nobody that hasn’t been through the loss of a pet will never understand that. I am the same I had more love for my dog than anybody in my family they are a great emotional support when needed.
I didn’t think people would care actually if I delete my account since nobody I know even cares about me in the slightest
Dolphin14• in reply to
We are all strangers here trying to help each other out. I haven't made a post yet. I've just been reading and responding. I've learned a lot from people. A lot of people from the U.K. I'm in the US
Things run a little different in the U.K.
People do care they are asking you to hang around. We all need each other.
• in reply toDolphin14
I am glad that reading and responding is helping you to learn things. I am in Ireland so it is a lot different here for mental health services it is a bad system here.
I may stay I’m not sure I didn’t think anybody at all would want me to stay
Dolphin14• in reply to
No one wants to see anyone go off and be alone that's for sure. I think this is a good place to talk. Sounds like you are a little lonely and down. I think it's great you are being encouraged to stay.
• in reply toDolphin14
I am quite lonely a lot of the time as I have no friends since they all turned on me so I am down a lot as well.
Dolphin14• in reply to
Then stay Lolo. We can all help each other.
Losing friends is tough. I've lost a few since I got sick. That's the beauty of being here everyone gets it.
• in reply toDolphin14
Sorry to hear about your friends it is not easy when losing friends just for being unwell. I’ll think about staying since a few people seem to want me to stay
Dolphin14• in reply to
Ok you think about it. I hope to see your name out there. But you decide what's best for you.
Take care of yourself Lolo and remember here you are never alone.
• in reply toDolphin14
Thanks Dolphin14 xxxx
Rainbowflute• in reply to
I too know the pain of both losing precious pets and close and trusted friends 😕 it’s not fair and not at all easy to cope with! I’m sorry you have had to go through this. It’s so hard. I would recommend looking out for a new dog or if necessary a smaller animal. It’s good to have a dog as it helps you get out more. I always look for a new dog immediately and it might sound heartless but had been planning what breed I wanted next before I lost my girlie. This is because we know how hard it is to cope with grief having a mental illness, getting a new pet takes your focus off your grief and focuses it on the love that your new pet has to offer! And if you get a puppy it will make you laugh at it’s antics and give you lots of snuggles and someone to care for, to give you a reason to get up every day!
As for leaving this site, every body here knows how you feel, knows what it’s like to feel alone and to need someone who will listen and understand! My dad and I listened to an interesting program the other night. This is in the UK. It was about listening spaces. Volunteers are trained to just listen and they are available immediately rather than counselling you wait months for. While it might be worth looking into that and see if it’s local but you have the same thing here. People who will listen and support. 92 comments all say stay! I think maybe you should stay! Maybe take it one day at a time. Check in every day and let people here know how you are We want to know how you are doing. Please stay! 💜
• in reply toRainbowflute
Hi Rainbowflute. It is hard losing a pet and friends as well. Thanks and I would consider getting another dog but my parents said no more dogs in the house for another few years. I am glad that you have another dog and that helps you. I won’t have another dog for a long time so I am struggling a lot after losing my dog. I see that people do want me to stay I just find it hard and I don’t know if anybody would say anything or not if I posted anything again but I do appreciate all of these comments.
Rainbowflute• in reply to
I’m sorry your parents won’t let you have another dog! Would they let you have a smaller pet? A cat or a rabbit? Rabbits can be just as much comfort you know as long as you get them used to being held, they’ll sit on your lap and you can stroke them which is obviously soothing! I had a house rabbit and she was house trained and used a litter tray! Might be worth asking. 💜
Sara1985• in reply to
There are some really good support groups on Facebook for pet loss. They helped me get through the loss of my cat.
• in reply toSara1985
Hi Sara1985. What are they called? Sorry about your cat I know it’s hard xxxx
Sara1985• in reply to
Thanks. I miss her a lot. There's The Rainbow Bridge Pet Loss, Grieving Pet Loss Support Group, Pet Loss and Bereavement, as well as others (search "pet loss"). Those are just some that I'm in.
• in reply toSara1985
You’re welcome and I know the feeling as pets are a big part of your life. I can’t get out of my head what happened to my dog leading up to her death 😭😭😭😭. Thanks for that I will look them up
Give this site another shot, if you don't want to post you can use pm, we might not be able to fix anything but we're great listeners and you can get great advices cause members can relate
• in reply to
I have been worried about coming back on here at all because of an email I got from the people running this site
• in reply to
Yes i saw your other posts but are you sure it's them, when the admins have issues with a member they send them a pm not an email
• in reply to
I would show you the email if I could
• in reply to
Let's start again, a new beginning
• in reply to
I am just afraid of what people would think of me now since I am always ignored and nobody likes to talk to me
• in reply to
There's no judgement here, some posts don't get replies cause it might be a slow day, not many members online,im only here a few times a week. or if people can't relate they feel like they can't help so they don't reply. You're not being ignored trust me
• in reply to
I know replies can be a while here it’s just people that actually know me always ignore me
• in reply to
Oh ok im sorry about that
• in reply to
Thanks
You don’t need to leave Lolo, I don’t know you at all but I used to keep all my feelings to myself too and it’s not sustainable for the long term. You need to talk to someone or you’ll break down eventually. I don’t have a great solution for the other people in your life, but in this group we appreciate everybody and we are always willing to listen!
I’m really sorry about your dog. I have lost horses before and animals are just so perfect and loving in all the ways people aren’t. Hugs ❤️
• in reply tosnow_queen
I had been tempted for the last couple of weeks to delete my account and I just feel that I am in everybody’s way anyway. I was going to a counselor but I can’t afford to go anymore.
Thanks I am really lost without my dog she meant the world to me and I was absolutely devastated getting the call from the vet to say she had died. Sorry to hear about your horses and the other animals that you lost. Yeah I agree with that and they are great friends and thanks xx
snow_queen• in reply to
As everyone else has said, it’s completely up to you but just know you’re not getting in our way
• in reply tosnow_queen
I just feel for my family that I am in their way all the time so I feel sometimes they would find it easier if I wasn’t around
Concernedparent23• in reply to
Reading your words in this thread my heart goes out to you Lolo.
I joined the site because I wanted to learn more about depression and especially suicidal thoughts so I could try to understand more about what my beautiful son was going through.
He is just a little younger than you if 1999 is your birth year.
He wasn’t able to talk to us about what he was going through, and still hasn’t.
I don’t know why, maybe he genuinely thought we didn’t care about him and that no one else did either.
When he did talk (if we would ask him to join us in a walk or do pretty much anything) he would use the word pointless a lot.
We are almost two years on from his first crisis. Things are looking a lot better now (as far as I can tell from the outside).
Of course you are not my son and we are not your family but I can’t help seeing the similarities, this is why I wanted your post touched me .
The depression was like a wall between us that stopped him seeing the truth, that people do care.
It was a very solid wall that he couldn’t see over or around. It stopped him seeing that the world is beautiful and kept him isolated from everyone.
It is being dismantled.
I may not post much these days but I still read. And I’m very thankful to everyone who shares their experiences because it’s helped me learn. Just by doing that you’re helping someone like me.
Keep posting if you want, read if you like but do stay, don’t think this place isn’t for you.
You sound like a lovely young woman, thoughtful and respectful. The world needs more people in it like you.
You are worth it x
• in reply toConcernedparent23
Hi. Thank you xxxx.
I hope this site helps you to understand more about what your son is going through. I am sorry to hear all of that about what he is going through but I do understand how he is feeling.
Yeah 1999 is the year I was born. It is very hard to be able to talk to people about this because a lot of people push it to one side as they think it is the person messing about it which that is what is happening with me.
It is common to think going on a walk or to do anything is pointless and I will admit that I say that quite often to things lately.
I do hope he is doing better now. I would speak to him about it if I could to see if he is ok but keep talking to him that could be what he really wants but just doesn’t say that.
Depression feels that way to me as well and I hardly go out at all I am in my room really all day long and don’t talk to anybody.
I am glad that reading posts helps you and I am glad that mine has helped you as well.
I have been off here for the last 2 months so it has been hard for me to say anything at all again.
Thank you xxxx
• in reply to
Lolo
Have you now considered getting a new dog, it will never replace the one you lost however it will help you get over all the negativity your are feeling. When we lost our last dog it took us both a long time to recover from its loss, we never recover although we do understand and move on. A new puppy will give you something to relate to as their love is so unconditional
It is obvious here reading your replies that people here thing a great deal of you and they are really showing a great deal of concern. You need to gain encouragement and support, here contributors, although they cannot see you can understand in some ways how you feel. That is better than just struggling unable to relate to what is going on around you..
Try new diversions or hobbies if you decide to leave, if you can join a club or centre that deals with mental health concerns, especially when those around you will give that support and understanding
Lolo I cannot imagine been told here you cannot be helped as being here can help you gain more confidence. All I can say however it will be your decision what you prefer to do, however consider here you have members around you that want to help
BOB.
• in reply to
Hi. It isn’t my decision unfortunately as I live with my parents and they said they won’t get another dog until me and my brothers have moved out of the house so I won’t be able to get another dog for another few years. Sorry about your dog it is something nobody can ever forget the pain of.
I really wasn’t expecting this much of a response at all I didn’t think anybody would care if I went off since nobody here actually knows me. Yeah that is true I guess.
I have been doing painting in my own time since I hide away a lot.
Thank you for that xxxx
Lolo1999, I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I remember how devastated
I was when my Brandy died. Maybe now is not the best time for you to leave.
Your emotions are even higher and having people who understand and support
you may be just what you need to get through this difficult time.
You don't have to delete your account in order to take a little "me time" away.
Of course, this is entirely your decision. I respect your decision whatever it may be. Sending you my love. I care. xx
• in reply toAgora1
Thanks Agora1 I am absolutely devastated about losing Lucky she was a big part of my life and now I am lost without her. Sorry to hear about your dog Brandy.
I had kept to myself since then as I haven’t been the best with that and family problems after my dog’s death and other things that have happened.
Thank you xx
don't leave lolo1999 i know it can be frustrating with no one responding. I posted once and didnt get a response. I'm not always on myself especially in the last week and prior due to the deep depression I was in. I started my new chapter today and new life. My friends who i keep in touch with can hear a difference in my voice just by moving out of the house i was living in due to an eviction.
• in reply tohlangdon
Hi hlangdon. I just have that happen with people that do know me they ignore me all of the time and I didn’t think people here would care if I do go off since nobody here actually knows each other.
Sorry to hear about how you were feeling last week I know how that feels. Glad to hear that you have started a new life for yourself and I am glad you have friends that do listen to you. Also sorry to hear that you were evicted.
hlangdon• in reply to
I know its hard. I had to kick someone I know to the curb along with her husband who was deployed overseas to the curb. She basically turned her back on me when the depression started. Stay on here, don't delete the account. Use the site as a safety net in case you need to vent about a bad day. Use it as you would like a journal. At least you can put your thoughts down and if someone has had similiar thoughts they can respond
• in reply tohlangdon
Sorry to hear that you had to do that. I have had to do that with family because some treat me like crap especially my aunty lately so I have had to stop her contacting me. Good that you got rid of her since she turned her back on you when your depression started. I may stay seeing how many people including you want me to stay on here.
hlangdon• in reply to
we may not all have similiar problems to relate to what you are going through at that exact moment and not how to respond. I just wrote a post about journaling. and it has helped me in the last 4 days with getting things off my chest. It feels like the weight has been lifted off my chest. Maybe the journaling will help with writing things down on how you feel and stuff
• in reply tohlangdon
I just saw your post actually and I had read it. Sorry about you being in the hospital I was in one as well but got turned away. I have been doing journaling myself and writing things down does help.
hlangdon• in reply to
can't believe a hospital would turn you away. I thought the same thing when I just went in and I was told by the police that they cant turn me away without having a permanent address.
• in reply tohlangdon
It happens all the time in Ireland even for people who are suicidal get turned away. I get suicidal thoughts but it is pointless in me going to a hospital about it because I will get turned away again. At least you were looked after and I am glad that you were. I was turned away because in there words they said there is nothing medically wrong with me so they sent me home straight away.
Hi Lolo,
I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I had an awesome shepherd-mix for 14 years until February 2018. I haven't found the right time to get a new dog but would like to someday. Have you thought about getting a new dog?
I wish you good health!
Greta
• in reply to
Hi Greta. Thank you my dog was a mix between a Yorkshire and a German terrier. Sorry to hear about your dog as well. I haven’t no but my parents don’t want another dog in the house until me and my brothers move out so I won’t be allowed to have another dog for another few years. Thanks xx
Lolo, look at all the people who care enough about you to reply
to your post. I hope that says something about the people who do care on
this forum xx
Lolo - don't give up. I'm sure there are people who have experiences like yours and could really help you. I see your 19 which can be a really hard time in life and no matter you might think people wouldn't understand they may surprise you.
• in reply toTaraPH
Hi TaraPH. I had been going to a counselor for this reason but I can’t afford to continue it. It is just hard for me that nobody that knows me wants to talk to me about anything I am going through.
Lolo, I just saw you lost your dog. Me too. He was my little man and I miss him so much. I put a picture of him on a coffee cup by my bed and every night I say "Goodnight Pocky". It makes me feel a little better.
• in reply toTaraPH
Yeah I lost her unexpectedly as she became very unwell and got worse the morning of the day she died. Sorry to hear about your dog. I am glad having the picture of your dog on a cup helps you. I would love to have something like that it is a good idea.
Agreeing with the others in staying. First and foremost, I am very sorry to hear of your dog's passing. For a lot of us, our animals are family and losing them is much akin to losing any type of family member. So many condolences there 
I am sorry that you were sent a message saying there isn't help for you here. Unsure in what context that was meant to be in, but it seems like you have a lot of support in urging you to stay....so I hope that says a lot more to you than the e-mail you received. I would say, as many have referenced, there is a severe lacking of mental health coverage across the various countries people on here are in. US, UK, Ireland...I mean I haven't read one where someone can say the "system" is fantastic and has solutions. It's difficult whether it's private insured or socialized. Quite honestly, being on here has made me realize how many really aren't in the greatest mental shape globally. While I wish we were all made better, in another context, it's nice to know we aren't alone. There are very people I can relate my problems to in my "real world" life, so this has been a fantastic place to retreat to when things are going well or....well...they aren't. I hope you stay so we all can continue to apply support, kind words, and/or advice for the good and the bad days. Please take care!
• in reply to
Hi Veritas9983. I may stay on now I have not fully decided yet. Thank you and yeah animals are family so it is very hard to lose them. My dog Lucky was a big part of my life and to lose her so soon especially is extremely hard but it is always tough to lose them.
Thanks I would show the email here I got if I could so that people can read it but I don’t think I can. I honestly didn’t think anybody would want me to stay on here at all. Yeah there is a lack of that here in Ireland and the government doesn’t care either. I am glad that this site does help you and I hope that it always does. Thanks again xx
Hi Lolo.. I don't respond often but. I read the post n learn so much n pray for every body to find peace n happiness. I had my kitty Simba for 18 yrs. His kidneys i guess were pooping out n we were on a cruise. My son took him to the hospital n was there a few days n my kitty passed away. It was horrible for me because I wasn't there. It took me 3 yrs before I could even think of getting another kitty. I did dream my Simba n he looked happy. But I had friends that their pets had passed away n gotten another pet n they were so happy n they told me get one from a shelter who needs yr love n a home.. And I did n I hv my kitty Samson. He has filled that hole in my heart. He gives me kisses. I will always love my Simba as I tear up writing this. But I'm so glad God sent me Samson. Don't give up on this site. Maybe that person that wrote u being unsupported was having a bad day. Look at all the beautiful people that wrote you. You r LOVED. sending u hugs n lots of love U WILL BE OK. ROSE
• in reply toSamson1953
Hi Rose. I am glad that by reading posts does help you. Sorry to hear that about your cat. That must have been very hard that you weren’t there when he died. I can understand how you feel as to what happened as my dog Lucky was sick with tonsillitis and bronchitis two weeks before she died then that morning she collapsed and had a seizure which we think may have happened during the night to but we didn’t know then. We found out that she had pneumonia and and abscess in her lungs so she couldn’t survive. I am glad that getting another cat has helped you and you definitely won’t forget your first cat but it will help you a bit to have another to fill that empty hole in your life which I hope to do someday as I am now without a dog. Thank you for that I was never expecting this much of a response at all.
hypercat54• in reply to
I am a cat person and have lost 3 of them over the years. I have always liked dogs but never really known one until my sister got a black lab/collie cross called Millie a few years ago. As my sister is disabled I took her out every day and the walks we used to go on - down the beach, local dog areas etc. I loved the very bones of her and her me.
Then one day when she was 7 she just dropped dead. Why we don't know. This was over 2 years ago now but my sister and I are still devastated and can't get over it. It's always awful when you lose a beloved pet but she was so young and this was so unexpected, so I do get how you feel. x
• in reply tohypercat54
I used to have a cat myself but he was killed by a car and I found him on the side of the road. I don’t know where the kitten had came from as he just appeared on my doorstep but I decided to keep him but he got killed a few weeks later so I didn’t have enough time to get used to him.
It is good that you took the dog out for your sister. Sorry to hear the dog died. I do know how you both feel it is very hard to get over it.
hypercat54• in reply to
Well neither of us ever will get over it, but we have learned to live with it. I still miss all my lovely cats too and think about them.
Have you ever seen that piece of writing about our pets going to Rainbow Bridge? I find that comforting. x
• in reply tohypercat54
No you don’t get over it but you won’t ever forget them. And no I haven’t seen that
hypercat54• in reply to
• in reply tohypercat54
Thank you for that.
• in reply tohypercat54
I really love that 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕
Hi lolo
I also understand the pain of losing a pet, my boxer dog Molly was my soul mate. I now have 3 cats bossing me around. I have no idea where my 3 cats came from they just appeared and no owners could be traced and so they moved in. I think when you are depressed pets help a lot, it gives you a purpose as you need to feed them, go out for a walkies.....and the list of demands from cats far to long to mention here 😼
If it's only been 2 months it's still really raw for you but one day will come when you can think of times with your pet and you'll smile at the good times you had. I'm like that with Molly now and it's 7 years on. I still think about her and I can't wait to see her again one day.
She's my number 1 person I want to see when it's my time 🤗💕 to join her
I hope you do decide to stay, you come across really well in the posts I've seen, I hope you find a way to say what you want to.
Jo x
• in reply toJoanne1972
Hi Joanne1972. It is very hard to lose a pet and the pain doesn’t go away. Sorry to hear about your dog Molly. That happened to me as well a kitten appeared on my doorstep but it got killed a by a car a couple of weeks later. My dog Lucky had helped me so much when I felt down and depressed and now I am lost without her.
It is nearly 2 months since I lost Lucky so it is still very hard. It would be great when we get to see our pets again alright.
Thanks xx
I have put up another post showing the email I got for anybody here who wants to see it.
Hi sorry for saying this but any responses I haven’t replied to yet I will soon I just need a bit of time to myself right now it’s nothing to do with any of you I just feel a bit pressured and stressed and dizzy at the moment. I will be back soon but thanks to everybody that has responded xxxx
We are always here for you if you change your mind❤️
Did you realize over the course of almost 2 days, good people have been talking to you with 93 messages of support? It was a marathon of hope and caring. So hopefully that shattered your feelings that no one cares. You were silent the last few months and because no one sent you a message, you were certain no one cared. You should consider posting in times good or bad or in between....it takes a minimum of two to communicate here. Don't huddle down and squeeze yourself don't into a ball called DEPRESSION. Work with other people here on getting that DEPRESSION slowly into a loss ball of yarn of depression.
Post messages occasionally. Good, happy or other wise. You are not the only person who believes no one cares. They do but didn't know you were doing a Ghandi sit down marathin to prove
It takes two to communicate. So tell us when you need help. No need for lengthy post , just a simple "I hurt" gets the attention of others. I have some physical isues to handle, just like everyone else. I haven't been on line for awhile because "my well was getting dry,"
Am a bit better, but getting to the outpatient surgucal center without my service do g Scooter tomorrow by 9 a.,m. He's been gone over 2 years, but he was my co-piot in the next seat every where.
I'm going to post something tonight; just for you to see people care, even if I don't know them. But I am reaching out for support, ok? Not waiting for it to come to me , ok?
Lets you and see the responses.
Post a good morning message now and then. Ask everyone is and find something,, don't care how small, to share that is positive. You told over 90 people you just wanted everytning to end, and no one talked to , and so believe me, when someone let's us know something is wrong ly hwe listen.
• in reply tolawdog
Hi lawdog. I wasn’t expecting that response at all. I hadn’t expected this since nobody here knows me. I didn’t post anything in a while because I have been just not been feeling the best and I have been in tears since I have nobody I can call or text about anything so I am left alone a lot.
I hope you are doing better.
Dear Look 1999
I'm sorry to hear you are leaving. I understand being tongue tied. I'm an am agoraphobic, because I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I don't even talk on the phone. Anytime I am forced to leave or interact with people, I can't do it without my husband. I'm not afraid of their judgement, I terrified I'll hurt someone's feelings.
If I don't take my husband, I spend unending hours running things over and over again. Until it drives me crazy. He helps me see what is really going on.
If you don't mind I like to tell you my story and how this site helped me.
The last two years have be incredibly difficult. My Husband was out of work for almost two years. We were going to lose our home. As an agoraphobic, this ment the loss of my whole world. My only safe refuge was about to be ripped out from under me. The last ten years of struggle (living in rags, no fun, no trips, no extras of any kind) and giving up everything (my business, all my money etc.) to save the house, was made pointless.
I was paralyzed. Literally, all I could do was cry. I was already on some antidepressant medications, they added more and yet all I could do was cry. The only light at the end of the tunnel was that a friend of mine offered to let us stay in her rental home. She was a part of my 2 person adopted family.
Since I couldn't pack my husband did all of it reassuring me everything would make it. Two days before we were to move in my "friend" texted the following: My psychic said you would be better off, I've sold the house.
So the person I thought of as a loved one. Thought I would be better off homeless.
As a result we put what we could in pods, but lost thousands of dollars in furniture, deposits etc.
The government only gave us 3 months of food stamps that was long gone. That was all the assistance we qualified for. I was off the hook miserable. My Husband took me to an emergency clinic my doctor recommended for depression and suicide. I wanted to die , I wanted it to be over. They stuffed me with more meds and sent us away. So instead is wailing I was quieter. I must have killed off a forest of trees, I went through so much tissue paper. Did I mention My cat was dying of kidney failure?
We took things day by day. It was hell.
Finally my husband 's sister found us some help. Her church put us up in a hotel. My Husband still wasn't employed, my cat was still dying, I was still suicidal.
One day, I was desperately was looking for any kind of help, I found this website. I read some of the entries and posted my major problem at the time. I didn't think it would help. But after a few kind responses the world wasn't quite so pitch black. More of a 90% grey.
I too was overwhelmed at first. I couldn't help myself much less anyone else. One day someone posted about breaking up with her boyfriend. I've been married for a long time. I reached and just told her if he can't accept you as you are he might not be the one. She was grateful, others agreed. It didn't help my problems, but I felt backed up by good people. It was nice to get even a glimmer of human kindness.
Since then, I check the post regularly. I am not helping masses of people. But sometimes I find someone I can help. I'll post my suggestions. One thing I like about this site. After that one thread is pulled, this group will pile on like a pack of puppies with kindness.🐶
It can give you hope as you take it one day at a time.
Sincerely
The Grey Cat Lady
• in reply toGreyCatLady
Hi GreyCatLady. I am sorry to hear all that but I am sure you won’t say the wrong thing when you are talking to people.
I am glad that your husband is helping you.
I am really sorry to hear everything that has happened to you I have no words for that other than I hope you are ok
GreyCatLady• in reply to
Dear Lolo1999
I Thank you for your kind reply. I think I buried the lede a little too much, in my previous letter. What I would like you to take away from my story. Just try to survive today. Every morning I tell myself this. I myself am surprised, at how many days have gone by, since I first started doing it.😀
Best wishes
The GreyCatLady
I have been thinking about your post for awhile now--actually I only saw the snippet from the daily email. I don't know (clearly) the email that you received from the admin of this site, so I will not speak to that. I can really only speak to how the title of your email and the threatening tone (I'm out of here bye...) reminds me of my own behavior and talk of ending of my life. I know that people who have cared (at that moment, though maybe not now) have gotten worn down with the endless, circular conversations that I can put people through and a few have said, "okay go ahead." Clearly I didn't. I have changed my language though and sometimes I do feel those suicidal feelings (not now, and I'm okay to get the we can't help you here from the admin because even if I say things like, "gee I"m really lonely today" my friends will say, "have you reached out to anyone" and I have no idea how to take that---yes, I reached out to you, yet I guess you don't really want me to reach out to you. I stopped reaching out to those people. The lack of constant rejection has helped, though I am still lonely) vs. I want to jump. If you feel like you are not receiving support here, you don't have to come back. However, do know that there are people here who want you here, especially if you are receiving some level of support. Many of us have gone through self-harm, and can relate to you. I'm sorry that that this is a hard time in your life.
• in reply to
Hi aktoortopa. I just constantly feel that people who say they will talk to me just won’t as I am ignored all of the time so it just feels pointless for me to be here. I am sorry that you have had those problems I know that feeling. I always feel rejected to since everybody in my life has turned on me.
• in reply to
Has everyone on this site turned on you? I haven't gone anywhere. Many people are still here. Concentrate on that. Develop new relationships. That's what I have had to do. People, plus our perceptions and minds, can be cruel fickle things. Look for the good, or on the rough days, look for the okay or things that just aren't cruel. Looking back at my most recent relationship, I think --well at least I met his grandfather who had this goofy laugh-- and I think you know maybe even if it's forced, sometimes that laughter helps us from crying. I will NOT let those in my past see me fail or even struggle again. Nope.
Lolo, tell me about the others in your life. I can remember feeling that same way before. Trying to describe depression like ours to people who’ve never had it is like trying to describe being dumped to someone who’s never been in love. Many people don’t know what to say to help us so they just avoid us. Ya know?
• in reply toShellybelly5
Hi Shellybelly5. I am just having so many problems with friends and family so I constantly just feel like giving up. It is hard to explain alright I just struggle at the fact that nobody wants to speak to me.
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