Depression and Poetry Exam

[SchizoidBartelby]

mydepressiontreatment.com/d...

Here I am, on another exam period trying to focus on what I have to learn. Tomorrow I have an exam on American Poetry ( I study American Literature in Turkey) and I wanted to tell you how it is going. Depression and study life can be tough game to handle but when you become a pro-student, you find different methods to cope with it. I will try to elaborate on those methods.

My depression is treatment resistant. I use 1g of antidepressants ( 4 different types) daily. I can’t focus on anything at all. As I study literature I am supposed to read a lot but in certain days only I find it possible to read 2 pages or less. I also work as a freelance translator but as you might guess, I miss deadlines a lot. I have hypersomnia which means I can sleep 24 hours with short breaks. And when my mood is at the lowest point, I don’t leave my room for more than a week.

When things are like this, it is difficult to handle a successful study life. I usually don’t go to lectures and try to learn the subjects from “friends”. As the years pass by, I have found that I can be more productive during the nights. You can also start by finding your productive time and place.

My productive place is library or a silent cafe. So, for my poetry exam I came to a 24/7 library but I’m still having difficulties in focusing. I keep procrastinating.

I don’t know if this is due to depression or not, I find it possible to do something when I’m not supposed to do it and impossible to do when I’m supposed to do it. Right now I’m supposed to study for the exam but instead I’m writing this. Yesterday when I wanted to write for my blog, I wasn’t able to do.

Perhaps, I feel too self-confident and the subject is too easy for me so my mind knows that I don’t need to spend that much time on it. I will probably start learning after I’ve wasted enough time.

How do you guys keep yourself productive and make it work? Are your grades generally okay or do you keep failing classes?

[lost-in-translation]

Hi SchizoidBartelby,

Your post reminds me a lot of my university experience a few years back. I graduated almost 3 years ago and while I finished with the grades I wanted it took a heavy toll on my mental and physical health.

Particularly during my last year at uni I had a very tough time focusing on studying. I did all my readings months before the essay deadlines but would only ever write it the night before, pulling all nighters.

For the most part it worked. My marks were never bad, which maybe was the reason I kept doing it. But also I had this stupid notion that if I didn't 'suffer' for it, I didn't deserve it. To the point that I'd sometimes pull and all nighter to edit an essay that could have been edited in maybe an hour or two.

The worst came in when I had to hand in my dissertation which accounted for almost 40% of my final grade. I was so anxious about it that I spend more that 36 hours awake and unable to eat anything for 24 hours. I had to contact the student support office and be taken into the hospital/ clinic for a drip because I simply couldn't eat. My deadline was postponed, because I was physically unable to hand it in.

Long story short: I understand how you feel. And while I am quite possibly the least qualified person to help, here are a few things that helped me:

- studying with my friends/ housemates. Simply being in the same room as them helped me keep focused. Plus it meant that I had support if I started stressing out about something.

- not being too hard on yourself. You're not going to be able to study from 6am to 10pm everyday (I tried.) Give yourself time to rest, and be forgiving with yourself when things don't work out the way you want to.

- change the deadlines. This is a bit random, but at the beginning of the semester I wrote all the deadline dates a few days before the actual deadline (like 1-2 days before). The impending doom and pressure ensured that I studied for it as if it was the last day. (I have poor memory so I didn't remember that I wrote the 'wrong' days)

- start. My mum always says that once you start it's much easier to continue. So start with something small. This doesn't always work for me. But reading 1-2 pages is better than reading nothing, and that eventually builds up your self-motivation.

This is probably way too long but I am also going through some stuff at the moment and I tend to ramble a lot. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful to you. I hope you can do well in your exam tomorrow.

[Pearl67 in reply to lost-in-translation]

How kind! Very good advice