Feeling bad about feeling bad

[Andrea-sprinkler]

I’ve been having a tough mental time for about 4 months now. I didn’t sleep for about 3 weeks, my best friends mom passed, work got out of control crazy. I feel like I’m at my witts end. All the while I’m feeling my age and wondering what I should have done in the past to have avoided this. Should I have married the first person that asked? Would I have love and children by now? Will I EVER have love and children. I know this sounds horrible, but I am having a hard time hearing about people’s marriages and pregnancies, especially unwanted ones or accidents...I feel like I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know how to pretend to be happy for other people anymore. I don’t think I’m a bar person. I love and give with all my heart to every single one of my friends and family. So why was a cursed to be alone? Sorry for the rant, the bad day turned into a bad week...I’m worried it will turn into a bad month then who knows from there...

[Kat63]

I have had relationship problems all my life, and I know a large part of the reason is my own anxiety, depression and self-doubt. The first thing I can tell you is this: it’s a mistake to get married when you’re not really sure, just because you hate being alone or you feel like a loser because you’re single. I know it’s a mistake, because I did it. I never should have married that guy; I know I hurt him, and I had doubts from the beginning but I did it anyway. This is one of the big bad things I’ve done in my life that I will always regret.

When it comes to relationships, listen to your heart, and don’t try to force anything. It doesn’t work like that.

I’m in a bad place myself right now; I am presently about to move back in with my long-term boyfriend and for us to try to work things out. We’ve known each other 17 years; we lived together happily for 10 years, then we had problems and I moved out. That was 4 years ago, but we never really broke up or let go of each other; and I’ve spent the past year trying to clean up my side of our street. I’m terrified lest we can’t work things out, and wondering if I ruined things forever by moving out in the first place.

Sometimes I wish there was no such thing as love or sex. Life would be a lot less scary.