Constantly zoning out

[Pieces99]

It's been weeks for this condition including other conditions. But this one has been bothering me the most. I read in an article that constantly zoning out is a symptom of depression and the author suffered it for hours and at times didn't know what she was doing. For me, zoning out happens discontinuously but exists whevener I'm conscious. The most frustrating part is that for me there are two parts playing in my brain. For example, I was washing my hands and my eyes were starring at a particular direction and vision slowly blurs a little and my hands are still in motion, water is flowing , and I'm not washing my hands. Basically, I'm in a slow motion like the movies. The weird thing is that one part of my brain is aware of the things that I'm doing and it knows that it is abnormal but it likes it too. It's like the brain is playing games with me. Then suddenly it gets to the present thinking that my mom will be observing, so I just shrug my head making it look like this incident never happened. It makes me super confused, it's like a fight between "ID AND SUPEREGO" but I'm not the one doing it, it's the brain. Honestly, writing this down do not make any sense, even to me but it's so difficult that it give me chills to the bone.

Thank you for reading and please share your opinion.

[gen6]

I know the feeling. And the way you explained it is how I experience it too. For me I usually have a trigger for a memory I don’t deal with well and instead of going to that place I just stare/ freeze. With you semi conscious self knowing this looks super odd. And my inner self trying to go back to the memories. Usually something happens in my environment that snaps me out of it.

Not sure if mine makes sense either but wanted to let you know I get it.

[Pieces99 in reply to gen6]

Yeah, it is so comforting to know that someone gets me. Oh! I feel like I'm gonna tear up a little. Thank you so much.

[gen6 in reply to Pieces99]

Of course hugs