Circling the drain

[Bucketnut]

I left Idaho in 2016 to move to NC to take care of elderly family members. I sold everything I could, put my dog down and adopted my cats out. I used to like this place sine we vacationed here when I was young. It is now a completely different place, employers treat employees as disposable and are nasty. I live with my 95 yr old Uncle and weekly visit my parents in assisted living. My Dad is in hospice and my Mom has dementia. My siblings provide very little support and I am not POA except for may Uncle Who does not like my siblings. I finally found a job working from home selling intelligence analysis software and I am not getting positive feedback in any form even though I am advancing the initiatives. II was paid half of what others (men) we're making, we are all freelance right now. They are hiring a Sales Manager who will make more in two months than I do all year. They have no idea what I do and what I accomplish . I appear to be invisible. I am looking for a job but it has to be work from home to take care of my Uncle. I am drowning in negativity at work, I pass good news and get a stiff are from my boss. He is technical, I am sales , disconnect. I also just got over pneumonia and am working with a shoulder injury from the last tropical storm. Now I have found a lump in my breast and go do an MRI next week. Being self employed I owe the irs a ton of money even though I am slightly above the poverty line. I am about ready to explode and sabotage everything, I am so angry. I need someone to peel me off the ceiling, please!

[Hidden]

You put your dog down when you moved? I’m sorry you’re having a rough time....

[Bucketnut in reply to Hidden]

I know, it was three years ago. I put one dog down the year before, he really was at the end. Then when I left, Newman had so many problems, he was going blind had really bad hips, and his chances of adoption were slim. I wanted him to know I was there not just discarding him in a strange place. He was really bonded. He was a goofy guy but exceedingly loyal. Having pets here is not an option. The heat, has rules, no fences, always on a leash. Not the way I want to have a dog. Plus heart worms.

I used to have sheep, cattle and horses plus the dogs and cats in the boonies. I really don't like that there are too many people, traffic, I can smell exhaust. It's nasty. I am by the beach but the tourists are so rude it is amazing. I hang at my Uncles house and fix stuff. It is in bad shape. I am painting the outside, fixing the deck, tiling the front entrance, organizing the garage. But I like to do this alone. My Uncle supervises. He points out all the obvious stuff and I just want time alone. If I am on the roof, that is one guarantee he won't be here.

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

I was thinking that! x