Feeling drained

[Priscillar307]

My anxiety this whole week has been at an all time high. Living in a very emotionally, verbally, & mentally toxic home has just become normal for me. But this week in particular i shared with my family that I’m looking for a new job. I feel like I’m not growing at my job anymore & just want to broaden my skills & knowledge. They are very against it & keep telling me I’m an idiot or stupid for wanting to try something new. They’re not supportive what so ever & it just feels like i have no one else to turn to. It’s so draining living with people who seem like they don’t want u to evolve & grow & it just shoots my self esteem at an all time low. I feel like I’m going to call off my interviews because i just want to make them happy. I’m basically living my life for them at this point. Sorry for ranting i just literally have no where or no one else to talk to

[Agora1]

Hi Priscillar307, I'm not surprised that you feel totally drained. Emotional, Verbal and Mental Abuse are very wearing on both the Mind and Body. How refreshing to see someone who wants to expand their skills and knowledge. Don't allow their comments to shoot down your self esteem. There is a saying "Don't let someone change who you are in order to become what they need".

Believe in yourself and what you are capable in achieving. I wouldn't cancel those interviews. You don't owe it to anyone in making them happy. Love yourself and pursue your goals in life. I wish you well. xx

[Priscillar307 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much! Yes it’s so draining & i know that i can take their point of views into consideration but at the end of the day i have to do what feels right for me. I absolutely love that quote! Thank u so much even this response is more support i had received so i super appreciate it. I’m going ahead with the interviews & whatever happens Happens

[Agora1 in reply to Priscillar307]

Good Luck Priscillar, keep us updated please. xx

[Hidden in reply to Priscillar307]

Hi sorry I've only just come back on here is it possible for you to become more independant in your living arrangements and get away from your family so you don't have to listen to there negativity as much I don't if you remember me from the drink site I just had luck I don't use that site either now I recently was very anxious and suffering another disappointment and set back and went backward did some binge drinking I'm on top of it now and trying to over come my PTSD and bad feelings I have towards my house I'm back in and staying here I told you last year I got drunk fell over my cat backwards and am still sufferring a year later with pain from my ribs, after lockdown I'm hoping to go swimming I used to find this helpful when I had extreme anxiety sending positive thoughts to you and a blanket of calmness 🤗🌛🌟🌠🌠🌠xxx

[Priscillar307 in reply to Hidden]

Hey! Thank you for the positivity it means so much 💛 i feel the same as u, trying to overcome anxiety, depression, addiction while living in a toxic household. Not helpful at all. Unfortunately i dont have anywhere else to stay where i would financially be able to afford it so i just try to isolate myself the best i can. I got the second job & didn’t let their negativity stop me! I hope u get to swim!

[Hidden]

Not to be rude friend, I just don't get why people think they have to live for others. Am I the only one who respects people's decision but live for myself? When u live for another, it does not help you in any way bcz u end up resenting em. Why do it? Get out of home if u are financially stable, don't live for em bcz u will hate em at the end. It is important to be happy and live for yourself. No one is allowed to tell u that u are stupid. I always say that stupid people see stupidity in others, it a reflection of themselves. Be careful of the poison you are taking from those closest to you you don't owe anyone depression. Sorry to be harsh, many people think they should live for others and I have never understood why

[Priscillar307 in reply to Hidden]

Not harsh or rude at all. I needed to hear this. I guess it all stems from growing up in a toxic home where my feelings were never valid so i created a complicit & submissive shell in order to survive. But you’re 100% right I’m the only one that has to live my life everyday & i shouldnt hold others higher than myself first. I wish it were easier said than done for me for sure but thank u for you’re response i really needed it

[HisDaughter in reply to Priscillar307]

I am very sorry that things are so bad with your own family! They may just have a bad attitude about a lot of things in life, but I know that it hurts a lot to hear their negative criticism and lack of kindness. It is very hard to survive in an environment that is so toxic and negative. Is it possible for you to meet with a therapist? You need encouragement and empathy and love and support and you are getting the opposite of all those things from your family. Maybe you could find a church and become a part of a group there. I know of a program that usually has meetings at churches and is called Celebrate Recovery. It can help a lot. But meeting with a counselor can help a lot too. I wish that you were able to have some people in your life who treat you with respect and appreciation. Please don't believe that you are stupid or an idiot! What horrible things to say to another human being! Please continue to try to better yourself and keep in mind that God created you and He has given you intelligence and gifts and you are very valuable! May God bless you a lot always!

[Priscillar307 in reply to HisDaughter]

This just made me cry❤️ how can a total stranger be more supportive than anyone in my life right now..... thank you so so so much. I’m so grateful. I defiantly want to find a therapist because there’s absolutely no other place i can turn to right now that’ll just hear me out. I’m not sure if the churches where i live have those but i will look into it!! Thank u so much for everything you said it really means so much❤️

[Hidden in reply to Priscillar307]

Them meetings I told you of are run by lovely people Christian run I think they will be really helpful to you and be open soon xx

[finefrenzy127]

My heart goes out to you! I hope you go to the interviews and embrace the career change. I admire you and know what you are going thru! I have learned thru loss and hardship that I am my worst enemy! Believe in yourself, love yourself first and have the confidence to believe that you can do anything you set your mind to! Best of luck!

[Priscillar307 in reply to finefrenzy127]

Thank you so much❤️ I’m going through with the interviews because i have nothing to loose at this point. & if i dont go I’ll always wonder what if. Thank you so much!

[HisDaughter]

You're welcome! I can tell that you have very good qualities. People who don't appreciate you may be people who themselves don't have good qualities. Everyone has good qualities, but some people harden their hearts. May God help you a lot in all that you do and if you don't get a better job soon, please don't give up! Be strong! You are valuable and special!

[Hidden in reply to HisDaughter]

Hi I have read your replies and just wanted to say I feel you could almost have been sent down from above you seem like a guardian angel there's nothing wrote on your profile either🤗there's some very special people on this health unlocked I don't use this anymore just the positive wellbeing during self issolation I've made very good friends on there I havnt seen you there why don't you join 🌟

[HisDaughter in reply to Hidden]

I suffer from depression and it's hard to do things and to have time for many things. I am glad am able to do some things. But it would be wonderful to not have depression and just be pain-free. I hope that God helps us all.

[Indiegal]

That's great that you're looking to do something better and want a better job. I've come to find that the people who say you can't or shouldn't do something are the ones that are afraid and feel like they couldn't do it themselves. So they end up projecting those fears onto you. I'm sorry they aren't being supportive of you and it's hard to shut those thoughts out and feel confident about yourself. But it sounds to me like you already decided this is what you want. And it's your life, not theirs, so go for it. Every time you hear them in your head just think about how much you believe in yourself and keep going forward. And if they continue to say things, tell them it's your life and if you want to find a better job they should be happy for you or keep it to themselves.