Should Friendship (even if it is one) end?

[Pal5]

So, there is dis person who i have known since 5 years at my work place. I had a lot of unsaid differences with him from the beginning. It seemed he didnt respect me (he doesnt respect people in general and doesnt know how to show it even if he does) and seemed like used me (calling me selfish if i didnt go on a office trip cause his then-girlfriend refused to go without me). I tried to be there for him, work wise, and reaponded if he spoke to me.

Recently (we are sort of close now) I have asked him why he hated me and he said he has no issues with me. I asked him about earlier, he admitted that he felt i was being fake to him (i explained the whole cycle- how i thot he was being so and i was only trying to be civil). It should be noted i am sure he is still not telling the entire truth.

Going back to the original flow of events, our common friends left the organization and post that he has been acting as if we have always being really good friends. Though, whether intentionally or not, he has been the cause of distance between me and other colleagues and has never stood up for me when he should. On the other hand, maybe out of guilt, he has tried to stand up for me in front of an unreasonable senior and hates that i dont stand up for myself.

Confusing, right? I hate it!

Sometimes he will want me to know his entire stories, his daily routine in details; sometimes he just can't talk to me about stuff. Sometimes he will want me around all the time; sometimes he doesn't give a damn (if others he likes are around). Sometimes he is busy with all other friends and doesn't care if i am around; sometimes all he needs is me and doesnt want to even talk to them. Sometimes he doesn't seem to bother to talk to me almost the entire day in office; sometimes he is all sad if i take a break from work.

I have tried to stop talking to him, to keep my distance...but he seems to sort of need me and i hate seeing him sad. Plus, i do like his company. Who else will sit there telling me his entire stories, not buy shoes he loves because i dont like them, who looks at me to take my permission before saying something he shouldn't, who gets annoyed if i laugh at someone else's joke and not his, who tells me to go die but ensures i cross the road safe, who says he always realises later i am right.

Now, before you jump to any romantic conclusions, it so not! Here i am debating whether he is even my friend or not, and i dont trust him at all, cant rely on him at all, he is too negative in his perspectives of the world (he says everyone is playing a game against each other and only i am too naive to not be a part of it)...so no thats not it for me. Why i answer? Cause i have been asked that at times- why cant you see him as a life partner. I dont know whether anyone has asked him, and what can he say except that he has been secretly in love with his friend (it was too apparent to me recently and he accepted so to me. He doesn't really tell that to anyone). So this angle of his life is another thing he is bothered with. He loves who she was and hates who she is. Does what she wants but hates it. Oh ya, she is in love with some one else. He complains to me about her and doesn't like if i take her side. Tells me her complaints asking for my opinion....as per him, she is always wrong and what i say, he may still consider.

Why do i write after all these years? I hv been working with him on the same project since a few months. He is as confusing and irritating work wise. Is always annoyed when i call him, seems disinterested in work, is busy on his phone while we are in the middle of a discussion, gets angry at me for his faults. I am not saying he is not responsible, i just dont get his way of working. He hates working with everyone and before we started working together, had made it clear to everyone that he can only work with me. Now, i hate working with him at times. We do make a good team but thats when he is actually interested to work. Rest of the time, he doesn't care. At times he takes up on all the work despite me insisting that he can share the workload, rest of the time he isnt bothered with how pressurized i feel. I am a bit serious towards my work, he thinks work doesn't deserve so much importance.

But u see trust, reliance, work all are dear to me. All things he doesn't seem to understand. I am still not sure he is a friend to me, he doesn't seem to be there on the rare cases i need him and he is my last resort when i need help. I have tried to make sense of it all. Can you? Should i work with him? Remember, this is just a jist, there has been toooo many good and bad memories to note down....but, should this friendship end, even if it is one? And how?