I've been shaping the world around me to how I want it to be. I am now becoming the change I want to see. Fear is loosing the battle as I am pushing it back to where it belongs.
I may soon be getting the job I wanted so bad of working at a gym for a living. I am working on getting certified as a personal trainer and I got a call today if I could go in for an interview next week to start out as a manager assistant. Despite the drive I am willing to do this because this to me is worth dying for. I like getting out of town, meeting people, and helping change lives. So this will be everything I always wanted. All I have to do is get through the interview first. Today I also reconnected with friends, family, and God. I felt in the moment and very well and alive. I inhaled and just watched the blue skies in the middle of December while listening to some epic acoustic music in the background. It was my form of meditation. Perhaps one of the more interesting things was having a nice conversation with a girl I've been crushing on for a long time now. There's always being this sort of thing there but since we rarely see each other and we both have busy lives it just hasn't gotten passed a few exchange of words. But one thing is for sure that there has always been some sort of chemistry. I told her I would bring her some tamales tomorrow and she seemed very intrigued. She accepted my offer without hesitation. Maybe it's time to ask her out. The worst that can happen is she saying no, but I think it's worth knowing for sure. You only die once right? I am starting to believe that sometimes we have to make our own doors when there are none.
How does one make freinds?
Life sucks when you keep trying to make it work
It's our choice it make
Living alone and feeling more lonely than ever right now
Trying to make a friend and being used 
