I want to be merry and bright on this Christmas eve but as with every year I can't manage. I know my dad will put me down at least 3 or 4 times tomorrow and more on Thursday. I think it was twice today. Im stressing about family medical problems and I worry about my kids. Stress takes over my wife and we argue too.
I want to wish everyone on here a merry Christmas but I won't deny that's a hypocritical statement because I'm not feeling it. Christmas as a child was wonderful but now I only do it for the kids.
Written by
aaronm
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11 Replies
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I’m so sorry you feel like that. I understand. Try to rest tonight and ignore any criticism tomorrow ( i know, easier said than done)! Ignore insults if u can. Best wishes A! hugs!!
Im sorry Aaronm . Try to breathe through it and tomorrow if it gets too much just say you’re not feeling great and take a break from it. In family gatherings I always (every 1/2 hr or so) use to go to an empty room or bathroom and gather myself , take a breather.. it used to help me stay calm .
From what I know of you, you have no reason to bow to any one...even your father.
Know your worth...don't let others decide it for you.
Hug your wife and your kids...there lies the key to happiness.
A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.
I know what it is like to have family hurt you mentally. I have rejected my adoptive Dad. He put me down as a person and as a woman when I was a child. Now he wants to be my friend when I am 50 years old. Forget it. I've been hurt enough. No more
We wish you better than that--maybe next year, you can be someplace else for the holiday...I've done that more than once...sometimes, a breath of fresh air can be found in the town next door, where there's less static!
have you ever asked your father not to do that, and how it effects you...and is he drinking when he's doing this.....what's his beef with just letting you enjoy the holiday with the family without the drama....is he being a bully.... I don't understand why some parents do this..... my mother did it every single chance she got to embarrass me in front of the family and be-little me....no matter how successful I was, she found a way to knock me down.
10 years ago was the last time she ever got to do that in my life....she is toxic....and I have not spoken to her since then and never will....my life is so much better now that I have stopped putting myself in harms way and stopped looking for the approval I was never going to get....I hope some day you find your peace too.
I have tried talking to my father and he listens but nothing changes. He doesn't drink. I don't know why he does it. I think he doesn't recognize it as being hurtful. He says "I'm older and I have life experiences. You should want to hear what I have to say so you don't make the same mistakes." That sounds great but then why put me down? I don't know why he does it.
I will only say....from my own lifetime experience of being humiliated and degraded, dismissed, and talked over when I am talking about my life......I stopped putting myself in harms way.....at first I would just steer clear of the BS.....till that wouldn't work...now I have not seen or talked to my mother in over 10 years and it's amazing how I don't miss any of it.....my life and self esteem have gotten so much better now that I have given up on ever thinking my mother was going to change, I accept she is who she is....which is toxic to me.
I've heard all the story's of why people keep putting themselves in the same situations, they are their parent...they love them...they are who they are and I have to just accept that.... no you don't.... and why should you.
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