Why can’t I just be happy?

[HotMess2]

Why do I constantly have to worry about everything? Why do I try to control everything? Why can’t I be happy without attention from men? I just want to be happy.

[Orangeblossom85]

I can see that you're on the good way to end up with all your struggle!

Digging can make you very conscious about your decisions and then the change is possible!

Are you a woman?

have you ever had something called mmpi test?

[HotMess2 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Thank you. Yes I am a woman. What is the MMPI test?

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to HotMess2]

It’s a psychological test that screens our personalities. I would recommend you to take it.

I also advice to check something named schema therapy. The most helpful is the book written by a guy that invented the treatment.

[Hidden]

Is it because you need reassurance?..are you insecure..we all are..do you love yourself?..

[HotMess2 in reply to Hidden]

I am definitely insecure and I try to love myself.. it’s hard to sometimes. I need more confidence and I wish I had more. I wish I didn’t care what anyone thought and I wish I could have more fun in life. I wish I was secure enough to walk with my head held high and I wish I didn’t worry about the future so much.

[Hidden in reply to HotMess2]

..its your insecurities holding you back..and your being your own worst enemy..I know what you mean..I'm going through the same..and that makes me sad too..and makes me worry about insignificant things..

[HotMess2 in reply to Hidden]

You’re right

[HotMess2]

I am insecure about the most insignificant things. I’m going to meet with a therapist to work on it

[Hidden in reply to HotMess2]

I found that I was never affirmed by family. I was largely ignored. This affects me today.

[HotMess2 in reply to Hidden]

What do you mean affirmed ?

[Hidden in reply to HotMess2]

I never had anyone on my team who supported my views, had my back, or acknowledged that I was special. I always felt ignored and regular. When your family affirms you that means you are treated special and felt important. This would have gave me confidence in life.

[HotMess2 in reply to Hidden]

Right I understand now. I’m sorry to hear that. I guess at this point we are both responsible for finding our own confidence now.

[rach1402 in reply to Hidden]

Same here unfortunately it has a lasting effect 😔

[Hidden]

I understand you I'm exactly the same way. It's hard but I think my insecurities started in my childhood. Ive had a tough life since childhood and always felt unworthy of love or anything good even with the family I did have. Was abandoned by both parents then the father of my sons. I've been wanting and looking for a man/husband since 30 and I'm going on 35 with no luck just more heartache,lower self-esteem and even more insecurities than I had before. My sister said to just learn to be happy on my own. Honestly I've never truly ever been happy...I thought a man or relationship would make me feel true happiness but it's been more of a struggle so I quit. I'm going to try to work on me...only thing I can do now. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Best wishes 😇

[HotMess2 in reply to Hidden]

I’m really sorry to hear about your hard times. I know so many people have had a harder time than me and I really should be happier. I did go through abandonment issues with my dad and my mom is emotionally distant. I put way too much importance on relationships as well. But no one is going to make me truly but me. Thank you for your thoughts they mean a lot and help me put mine into perspective.

[HotMess2]

Thank you. I know I need to go to the gym more. I will try harder to do that and to start meditating. I think I need more hobbies that are just for me. I always associated happiness with relationships and constantly worry about what my partner is doing. I don’t want to waste my time worrying or being unhappy. Thank you again for your thoughts. I know I need to make the best out of life above all else.

[Hidden]

Mary, that is so true..