Wish I really had more support

[Tinman71]

Had a relapsed in judgement a few months ago and was charged with less than a gram of weed. Paid a fine but being force to come to court and give my statement as a witness since a young child was charged without me for selling weed. I will never be a snitch first, even though I know I'm not charged , it still caused my anxiety to sky rocket. Wife seem to be taking the back road with nothing to say. I get it !!! I caused it and I will resolve the matter. But its hard when you have Anxiety and no ones understand the high level of stress. Not sure why I feel like I need someone to hold my hand to calm down...... Wishing God help me.....

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry ...I'm not sure what you mean being a snitch.....and a young child being charged.....if you don't mind explaining so I can understand a little better what you mean.

[Tinman71 in reply to fauxartist]

Police believe I brought it from a young child that was arrested for selling weed. But we were not charged with a same crime or together. I plead guilty and paid a 50.00 fine no court for me. I took responsibility and will do so again . I don't have a patience any more in life .

[fauxartist in reply to Tinman71]

oh I don't blame you for not turning the kid in..... I wouldn't either. It's just sad the kid is doing this and putting their life at risk of harm or prison to make a buck. Pot in my world, even though I don't smoke it, should be legal period. Liquor on the other hand should not be legal....more damage is done because of drinking to people, family's, deaths, prison, crime, childhood trauma growing up with alcoholic parents....the list is endless. But because there is so much money in the industry and it's socially acceptable....it is legal.

[Hidden]

Sounds like there's more going on in your life...is everything's ok?

[Tinman71 in reply to Hidden]

Not really . Trying to find the strength to eventually start talking about it. My soul ache some days thinking how hard life can be . Realized I have been trying to survive by any means since 11. I’m 46 and feel mentally that I should retire. My mind is exhausted and I know I still have to pay a mortgage bill. Add on the mental and physicality of Street life for over 15yrs and working for more than 15 yrs positive . Feel like I’m two different people who have live two separate live. This work world can be just a ruthless.