Hi, guys, it is almost funny how I am afraid when everything is ok, when i feel ok, when i have hope ...and things at home are ok too. I had a nice day yesterday, did a few things, watched shows, studied a little, did exercises which physical therapy doctor gave me to do every day. In the evening we went for a walk on boardwalk. Seems perfect, right?
Today i got up in the morning, started moving around in the kitchen, reached for something and got bad spasm in my low back, that now i am barely moving. I had some plans today to go places ...not sure i can or want even. Feel depressed and anxious that this pain will be a problem for my leg physical therapy, because some things i have to do for leg...and it is not supposed to be thru pain in my back. Well, i will have to talk to the physical therapy doc on Tuesday.
Right away thoughts : if i get a job, i will be in pain with back and leg...and people there will see it, and i would not be able to do my job as good as i am supposed to.
No, my work will be at the desk, but it should be comfortable chair and ...i have to get up every hour and move around a little.
Basically now i am doing what i should not do: i am overthinking and thinking ahead. I know that this spasm in my back will go away or at least will be better ...probably by tomorrow, but my general issues with not so good health ...make me think of this as a obstacle for what i want to do and the most importantly : with working.
thank you, guys, for letting me vent. I am planning to take it easy today but i still will try to do what i can do, if it is not causing too much pain.
Love, peace and calm to everyone!
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morenews
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morenews and this is how it starts for all of us. We are very aware when everything goes so right that even that day, hour or moment is ruined by our anxiety. And yet, once we feel a pain that is not related to what we have experienced, it snowballs. And quickly. Our minds escalate to the worse possible scenario. What if becomes the focal point that we become paralyzed with fear and it ruins what might not have been too bad a day today.
I am guilty of that myself. More so in the morning when anxiety is at it's highest and just waiting for an excuse to rear it's ugly head. The thing to do is rewind, rewind. Slow down those thoughts, change the channel. Get back to the present moment in that you may have pain but you will deal with it day. Tomorrow is another day and it may very well be gone. By feeding into your anxiety it will not only ruin today but keep it going longer. Relax today, that's the best thing you can do. Use relaxation and deep breathing. Take it easy physically and keep those thoughts into today only.
I'm glad you were able to vent. You are never alone on this forum. We understand and are here to comfort. Breathe my friend. Breathe xx
thank you, breathing and get all those very wise words you wrote to heart. I agree with each and every word. I just have to absorb it and make it mine thank you!
morenews, I know pain and fear are never easy to deal with. It's easier said then done but I hope as the day goes on your pain will lessen. xx
Are you able to do any back exercises? I have a bad back, get spasms all the time, it helps me. I wish you all the best. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!
thank you! yes, i usually do some stretching exercising in the morning for back. did not have a chance to do it this morning...and now i think i have to wait till spasm gets better before i do them. Probably will use ice pack for pain. Thank you! Have a painless and joyful day today!
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thank you!
Still trying/ worthiness
Its 8:30 pm My ex-partner has the movers here. 
Enough already. I can't take this anymore. 
WARNING: pity party for me, and I think I might need a pain management support group as well
High Anxiety day
