Too depressed

I am having a major depressive episode. I am totally broke. I called into work for the second day in a row. I feel totally defeated. My daughter left me hanging with 275 worth of concert tickets that now she can’t afford to pay for. She hasn’t paid her phone bill and I know when the bill comes due again this month she won’t be able to pay it too. Her and her boyfriend and little girl got kicked out of his alcoholic mother’s house and are living in motels. The phones are on a contract and there’s nothing I can do. My husband makes huge messes and won’t clean them up. It’s back to school and I will have to charge my youngest daughters school clothes. I had to charge clothes for me because I got fat and can’t wear my clothes. I smoked for the first time in 6 months. I need to be at work but I can’t seem to drag myself there. Not suicidal but completely unmotivated. I wish the windows could be open on the house so I couldn’t hide in the ac but temps will be around 90 and humid. I can’t take the weather due to my copd. I actually had an anxiety attack while registrating my youngest for schools yesterday.ive got 2k in dental work for a dental implant that agai. I have to charge.if I do t, my teeth will move all over the place, and I just had braces to get rid of my overbite. I know this is rambling , I’m just spilling

[Hidden]

It's good that you're able to get all this out . You don't have a plate or platter, what you have going on is a buffet, no wonder you are down. I sure this comes to an end for you soon & you can see a rainbow! Love & Hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you🙂me too!!! I appreciate your validation of my feelings. All I get from my husband is “ what’s the matter with YOU”

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Until they walk in our shoes they just don't get it. Can you get a hold of any information on it? It might be helpful for him. It took my hubby a while to get what my head is like, haha!! I've taken him to my Psychiatrist & that has been very helpful for him, I don't think he will ever get it 100% , how can I expect that, he's all good though & does support & cherish me. I'm very blessed. I wish for you peace of mind. Love & Hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Nah he was saying what’s wrong with me for trusting my daughter to pay me and for smoking!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

He doesn't sound very nice? XXX

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ummm no he’s not nice

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry for that. I really wish for you all the best! Maybe you could sell the concert tickets online? Peace, love & hugs!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That’s exactly what I’m working on- I have tickets to two other events that I wanted to go to listed on Stub Hub and Ticketmaster. With any luck they will sell.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh boy I wish that it happens for you!!! XXX

[Choccymilk0807]

First of all, I want to say there is nothing wrong with you. When somebody has a disease we don’t put blame on them, and depression is a disease. I have found myself in the same boat too not wanting to go to work, I’ve called in twice this week as well. Personally I am still a baby and not married or with children so I can’t imagine the added stress and anxiety that comes with that. It sounds like you need to focus more on yourself though. It’s not going to cure you, but sometimes it is just nice to treat yourself. I know you probably feel you can’t because you don’t have the money which I get- I am always worried about money personally. But it doesn’t have to be a big thing, or it can just be time that you put aside in your life everyday to do something you love. Meditate in the morning, give yourself time to read a book or watch a show or take a bubble bath. Other than that, I would say to reach out if you need support, I will always be here to listen to anyone who is struggling.

[Hidden in reply to Choccymilk0807]

Thank you- kind words much appreciated

[Choccymilk0807 in reply to Hidden]

Of course

[hopeful0907]

The saying is true when it rains it pours. It sounds like you are completely overwhelmed and in those moments it is difficult to find the motivation to keep moving. I have experienced this as well. You sound like a strong person and I believe you will get through this one small step at a time. Do you have any kind of outlet to relieve stress such as some friends to talk to or a local support group, perhaps playing some music and dancing around the house? Maybe take a walk to help clear your mind, I know fresh air helps me to relax. Sometimes breaking things down into manageable goals helps so much. Praying you to find peace in the storm.

[Hidden in reply to hopeful0907]

Thank you! Actually I prayed a rosary last night and will again tonight. I had to take a step back and relax. I was nervous about going to work today but I played off my two day absence on my dental surgery instead of my depression. All is well so far🙂🙂🙂

[hopeful0907 in reply to Hidden]

I am glad to hear you are doing better today. Hang in there, there are better days ahead.

[Hidden in reply to hopeful0907]

Thank you🙂🙂🙂

[baileyf14]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Depression is a very difficult thing to deal with. I am currently going through a rough patch feeling unmotivated so I understand that part. It is hard to get motivated sometimes but I have to make myself get up and do what I need to do. Have you tried talking with your family about the way you feel and about what you are dealing with? If you talk with them, they may begin to understand whst all you are going through. It helps to be open and honest with your family. Have you tried speaking with a professional therapist about your depression? It is a grat start to seek help from a professional because they can try to help you get to the root of what you are dealing with. I hope everything gets better!

[Hidden in reply to baileyf14]

Thank you!