Seeking info on options for treatment-resistant major depression

[findcompassion]

Thanks in advance to everyone who reads or replies.

I've lived recurring episodes of major depression for 30 years. I've managed pretty well over the years by making lifestyle and career choices that were flexible enough to work around the down times. Had reached a good balance with minimal episodes in the last 10 years until this one. After an accident and extensive, intensive recovery period i had lost that careful balance and had one bad episode lasting 4 months, a short reprieve of about 6 months and then another episode which has lasted over a year and counting.

I've never found any SSRI or SNRI to be successful. Did have a bit of success with a reversible MAOI (moclobemide) but only at such high dosage that the side effects were worse than the depression.

For the first time in my life, I am unable to work and don't have the financial cushion I used to, which is adding to the stress. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find the energy to continually navigate unhelpful programs and seek out new forms of treatment. My doctor wants to admit me to a mental hospital, but I am trying to avoid that at all costs. Having gone to the emergency dept in the past, it is just too sad and painful to see so many others suffering.

I have an assessment at the end of the month to be considered for rTMS or repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation and wondered in anyone had tried this and what your experience was like.

I hate medication, so the idea of combining two or more kinds doesn't appeal to me very much, but I'm desperate enough that I need to at least consider it. What combinations has anyone here found effective? What side effects did you experience?

again, thanks for reading and for those willing to share their experience, strength and hope

[Hidden]

Hi, I recommend you watch videos by Douglas Bloch on YouTube. He has been in the hospital for depression a few times and has recommendations on treatment resistant depression.

[findcompassion in reply to Hidden]

thanks! i'll take a look

[zevietnameseguy98]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. You amazed me with your strength to go through all of the harship life threw at you. Keep your fighting strong and always have faith. Best of luck to your journey and stay strong my friend. Wishing you all the best xoxo

[Hidden]

Honestly, I would make a visit to the psych hospital. You can receive help in many areas at the same time. Don’t worry about seeing others suffer...you will be there for yourself and your healing. Be grateful when you see someone less fortunate than yourself. It’s not on the top of my list of favorite things to do, but the outcome is usually good and helpful. Wishing you the best 🌷🌞🌷