One step forward: I have been diagnosed... - Anxiety and Depre...

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One step forward


I have been diagnosed with OCD and it pretty much keeps me within 15 minutes of my house. For the first time in two years, I went to a city 3 hours away. (I am picking up my son at midnight at the airport) and took my other kids to a museum and then to dinner. Then husband wanted to walk downtown. So OCD kicks in as soon as we get to downtown and twisted my guts up. (My OCD is pretty much an obsession of having to use the bathroom and not being able to use the bathroom and that causes me extreme anxiety which then makes me have to use bathroom).

I wish he could have said we had a nice day and taken me to the airport where there are plenty of bathrooms and I could quell my panic. Instead, he drove like a maniac and dropped me off and took off. Mad. So here I sit for four hours waiting for my sons flight to come in. Alone. I often fantasize about just walking away or just ending everything but I know it would screw my kids up.

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