why

[mdupee]

everytime i look in the mirror, i do not recognize myself. i feel so lost and numb, i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m tired of trying and fighting for things i can’t fix.

[Hidden]

Lost and numb from the way you look? I am trying to get a better understanding of things.

[mdupee in reply to Hidden]

not only from the way i look but i don’t recognize feelings anymore.

[Hidden in reply to mdupee]

That is a heavy burden. Are you being treated for depression at all?

[Hidden]

Hello mdupee!

I am glad you’re here sharing how you feel! Worrying over things you can’t fix is a waste of good mental energy and counterproductive. Letting go of those things will help set you free. Don’t worry about the past or the future either. Live in today only! I’m wishing for your peace of mind 🙂

[fauxartist]

I know the feeling and I'm sorry your going through this. Can you share a bit more about what's going on so we can get to know your situation a little more. One small piece of advice I had to learn early on in my recovery was that we cannot control people, places, or things....meaning we cannot always fix what is broken, only ourselves....we have a choice to get better, and it's a long process of learning to cope and find ways to manage our depression and anxiety. There is no cure for depression as it's a chemical thing.

[Lain599]

Let it go. I realized that I am not the same person I was. I, too, gazed in the mirror, albeit briefly, shocked at the visage that gazed back at me. An older woman, exceedingly unhappy and stressed. Who was this person? I would look away and go back to my non-existence. Recently, I look more than a minute. That is all I cam stand but the eyes are different. For one day, I had cried and the next day they looked shocking. Yesterday, I saw a person who was not as clingy and panicked. The anxious helplessness was not as apparent. Maybe, I will look again to see who I am.

Why fight for things that cannot change as you need? Find new avenues, dreams and doors to open. Windows to gaze out of. I had a nasty dream that Evil, sentient and aware that I was dreaming would find me in a house, seep down in a cold, dank mist from the attic to consume and destroy me. One night I dreamt I was walking down a dark street full of houses (represents one's body images,)...there was Evil. It started to seep down from a house towards me. I said "fuck this!" and Evil said "What, what?" utterly diminished and confused. That was the end of my Evil dreams.

Why not try a similar path?