I have no friends and it’s making me unhappy

[littleorange8]

Hi everyone, I’m currently in college and I’ve noticed that I’ve been starting to lose many of my friends. The only events I get invited to is one of my close friends gatherings around 4-5 times a year. I honestly have zero people to talk to. I try to be friendly and ask people to hang out, but they never reply back or ask me to hang out. I do have other things to keep me social - like participating in student clubs and study groups. However, I don’t understand why no one ever asks me to hang out outside of academics/work. There is no one I can talk to about personal problems or just to have fun and laugh with. This has been making me depressed, lonely, and lowering my self esteem. What can I do to improve?

[AZ1970]

I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are putting yourself in situations to meet people. Don't give up. Keep trying. Are there any mental health support groups on campus? Perhaps connecting with others who understand the struggles will be easiest. I imagine there are others who need to build friendships as well.

[littleorange8 in reply to AZ1970]

sorry i’m not very knowledgeable about this, but what are mental health support groups? if it’s a large group of people i’m worried that i’ll cry in front of everyone and embarrass myself if i talk about my problems.

[littleorange8 in reply to AZ1970]

plus i always feel “ugly” (sorry that’s the only term to describe it). i feel like i’m not good enough nor deserving of anything - i think part of the reason is having been in an emotionally abusive relationship. i remember i used to have friends who would ask me to hang out, but after i started being in the abusive relationship, any friendships i’ve tried to make failed. maybe that’s somehow the issue? would it help to see a therapist?

[AZ1970 in reply to littleorange8]

A therapist would be a great idea. Support groups are for people who live with some kind of mental illness. You wouldn't even have to share. Just listen and be supportive of others. Abusers tend to isolate their victims. I imagine a therapist could help you sort through all of this.