Don't know if I can fake it much longer

[JadeRaye]

Let me just start off here ..my parents are very anti medicine anti pharmaceuticals. I'm sure most of this stems from my mom being addicted to Xanax most of her life . She is clean now and is doing great . But I know my dad and her both think mental illnesses aren't really a real thing . And people only take "drugs" to her high and to abuse medicine . Anyway. I'm severely depressed I'm thinking I might be bi polar but i just feel uncomfortable to tell my doctor about it. I take medicine for my depression and insomnia. Both of these issues affect my daily

Life by a ton. I can be so depressed some

Days that just getting out of my bed to get my child and sit on the couch , is exhausting. I feel like I have two sides. One - super depressed want to sleep all day. And Two- lets go out to stores and spend money super happy all the day. I just feel so guilty for taking medicine for these things . I know if they knew even though I take my medicine responsibility, they would still look at me as weak. I shouldn't have to take anything to handle life, buckle up and get through it . Excerise everyday oh and don't forget to drink a smoothie everyday . That will make you feel better. Problem is these "natural" cures don't work for everyone . Every time I talk to them , I try so hard to sound happy and normal . But lately I find talking to them is really nerve wrecking. I'll get nervous all day waiting for their calls , and then it's like ok sound normal sound happy . But I feel like I'm getting bad at faking it now .i notice

My speech is slower and it goes

From me speaking really slow to fast . This whole thing is just a lot for me . I wish they would just support my decision as an adult , that I want to try to feel better not to be happy every day . But just being able to get

Out of my bed and function normally .

[hypercat54]

Hi first of all as an adult why would your parents have to know you have sought help? Many families don't understand mental health unfortunately and if yours don't there is no point keep trying to make them as this only makes you frustrated and upset.

Do you have any family members that do understand or any friends you can talk to? I do think you need to get yourself off to the doctors and get some medical help.

We all understand on here so stay with us. x

[JadeRaye in reply to hypercat54]

Even though I'm 27 years old , I'm still pretty close with my family . I talk to my mom and dad pretty much everyday on the phone. I wish I could share my whole life with them but I know if I tell them I sought help they will classify me as a "druggie" . And I have a doctor I see, she's actually really nice . But I still feel uncomfortable telling her everything because she seems so normal and put together so I'm embarrassed.

[hypercat54 in reply to JadeRaye]

Well it seems clear you can't share your whole life with them if you want to avoid being criticised by them and looked down on. I think there comes a time in everyone's life when we have to cut the apron strings and necessarily leave out some things to parents.

Mental health reasons are behind the 2nd most visits to doctors (bad backs are 1st) so your doctor certainly isn't embarrassed as she will have seen and heard much more extreme things in her time. If you don't tell her everything then she can't help you properly. x