Log in
Anxiety and Depression Support
23,900 members22,370 posts

Any help is greatly appreciated!

I have been struggling with anxiety attacks and they are getting more frequent and worse. My ex spouse moved back in with me and our 4 kids live with us. We have tried to reconcile but it has been very difficult to say the least. Lots of arguing and bringing up the past. To add to this she had a stroke and has several health issues. I had my left kidney removed because of a cancerous tumor. My father died. My sister is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer. our son suffers from mental illness and refuses to take his medications. He replaces them with street drugs and is in jail currently for a possession charge. Whenever I have down time I start blaming myself for my son and my divorce which I have made mistakes. That thinking usually brings on the panic attacks. Also thinking of some of my infidelity that my ex does not know about. Should I come clean and tell her everything I have done? Would it relieve my anxiety? She has not been faithful either and left me for another man in 2011. What is the best medicine to take when the anxiety attacks occur? thanks for listening

2 Replies

helpme12345, you certainly have more than your share of serious problems that need to be addressed. Until you do and get some answers as to how you will handle each issue, your anxiety will continue to grow worse.

Have you and your wife tried to reconcile by seeing a professional counselor? Doing this on your own, you can see it's impossible to do. The arguing and bringing up the past does nothing but add fuel to the fire. The health issues among you, your wife and sister would be enough to contend with. I'm sorry about the passing of your father. Having a son with mental illness who refuses medication is a big stressor. You are not responsible for your son's drug use. As for the divorce it sounds like you both were equally to blame. I would certainly not mention your infidelity to your wife right now. It's not going to right the wrong and it certainly is not going to lower your anxiety and stress levels.

This is more than about what medication is best to take when an anxiety attack occurs. With all that's going on, the chances of you needing to take more and more meds to calm you will increase. You personally need to see a professional therapist who can take you through each and every issue you have going. These issues cannot be ignored or swept under the carpet. You will have to accept this as your life right now and work on getting some stability and peace in your life as well as finding some answers. The stress is killing you and the family dynamics. This has to be terrible for the children and makes me wonder if they wouldn't be better with mom and dad being separated again.

I'm glad you found this forum, I'm sure there will be many others who can relate to some of your family problems. We share each others troubles and fears and somehow get the strength we need to go forward by not feeling so alone.. Follow the others on the forum who you can relate with, share your concerns regarding anxiety and immense personal stress. I wish you well. We are here for each other 24/7, so never feel that you are alone. Talk again soon.

1 like

I’d suggest talking to your doctor about a good anxiety med because they’re really based on what your diagnosis is and some can be addictive but effective. I personally can’t with substance abuse issues in the past and I have to be on medication that goes with Zoloft and I take a non habit forming anti anxiety. Sounds like some of your anxiety is situational so it could help to go to a therapist that can help you sort through your life and keep you on a positive life path. I’m always pro therapy though. Your morning a lot of losses so don’t give yourself too hard of a time.

1 like

You may also like...