Don’t understand why ?

[BEE247]

I’m in love with someone that hurt me and I don’t understand why ?

I’m picking lads that look like him or have similar traits and I don’t understand why?

I’m hearting so bad and hating him but loving him and wishing he was mine and I don’t understand why?

If anyone could help me or give advice it would be great because this has been going on for nearly a year ....

And I’m fed up of crying and hurting.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry your hurting for so long....and if the relationship isn't mutual and your unable to let go....then there is something going on that is keeping you from being able to process the letting go of something that just is not working. I would say if your not in therapy you may want to get together with a therapist who understands the process of grief and letting go.

[BEE247 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you and yes I’m with a therapist however, I feel like it is not helping me

[fauxartist in reply to BEE247]

then honey, you get another one because they are there to help you, and if your not getting what you need, your therapist will understand, that's their job. Get a referral to another one that may be more receptive to your needs.

[BEE247 in reply to fauxartist]

Yeah I suppose I’m going to have to I just wish he would get out of my head

[fauxartist in reply to BEE247]

changing therapists is always kinda hard at first, but once you get with one that can really work with you makes all the difference in the world when you actually feel they understand you and you feel your starting to understand why you feel the way you do and learn tools to help you move forward...it will be okay...and you can write here too and keep getting your feelings out...it helps ...

[AnxietySterling]

This may seem a little harsh but why do you keep wasting your time with this guy? It is hard to get over relationships but you need to love yourself more and take care of yourself. If a relationship is bad in the beginning... long term is just unthinkable. Nobody is indispensable or irreplaceable so do what is best for you. It may not seem like that now, but YOU WILL get over him!

[BEE247 in reply to AnxietySterling]

Thank you and no I need to here it, I suppose it’s just hard I don’t understand why I want him back as he did unimaginable things to me and going to court with him but I feel like when he walked away he took everything like I’m just an empty shell

[Dubba61]

Oh, I've been there too. A long long time ago. Do you have low self esteem? Because, that can make us seek out someone who is likely to hurt us. Again. We don't value ourselves and so chose people who are likely to devalue us too. A good starting point is to recognise doing it. Then we can look for someone different to the ex. Who will hopefully, not hurt us. Getting over these relationships can take a long time. But we can learn to live with it. I wish you well. 😊🌻✌️

[BEE247 in reply to Dubba61]

Yeah my self esteem is shit and my confidence is awful, and I hope so too thank you for your advice !!

[BEE247]

Yeah could be but he hurt me so why would I still want him.

It just hurt me thinking about it

[Dubba61]

Sad to say an awful lot of Women have low self esteem. Took me a very long time to realise that what i wanted and needed was just as important as what the bloke i was with wanted. Maybe it would help you to go to a Class on the subject or read up online about it. It's surprising how much you recognise in yourself. I hope it helps you Bee. 😊✌️🌻

[BEE247 in reply to Dubba61]

Thank you means a lot, I will try thank you for helping, if you need message me