So much to do and so freakin depressed

[Annabanana0715]

Help. I’m nearing the end of my 18 hour semester and that means papers, online work, lots of quizzes, and huge end of semester projects that feel like a very dark looming cloud of stress. I have to do one part of my biggest end of the year project. We have to write a grant proposal for a hypothetical nonprofit we create from scratch on our own. (I’m a social work or public/human services major.) I have to draft the budget for my nonprofit and it was already due this afternoon online but I still haven’t even started because every time I try to I get so overwhelmed and confused about what I need to do I just shut down.

And right now, I just feel like a sad depression zombie. There’s a lump in my throat and I feel like I could just burst into tears for no reason. I want so badly to just shake this feeling and get motivated since I have time to work on it, but idk how to. I feel like I’m being slowly crushed to death my work that just keeps piling up and up and up. It feels like every time I finally finish one thing, I realize I should have already been working on something else a week ago with the energy capacity I’ve been running on lately. I feel like I’m consistently letting down my professors and certainly not doing the best I can or could be doing.

Idk what I’m asking for here but I feel like putting it into words to people who don’t know me personally and therefore won’t worry about me has helped a bit. Trying to figure out where I need to go now. Should I go to a coffee shop to get some caffeine and try to focus? Go home and do yoga? Go to the library? (tried it. I felt way too overwhelmed my the idea of trying to work right now and walked back out.) Or maybe should I go get some food since I’m hungry? They have caffeine filled soda, would caffeine even help? Ugh coping with depression is so hard and confusing. I’ll be soooo happy when I finally graduate.

[gogogirl]

Good luck with your project- it sounds intense , and I give you a lot of credit!

[MommyBro]

Wow, 18 hours is a lot even if you're not struggling with other issues. Was this necessary to graduate on time or something? Caffeine might give you the jolt to get started.... You really do need to eat something healthy on a regular basis, and get some good sleep regularly. You might think you don't have time for this, but if you don't have good nutrition and rest, your brain can't function well.

One idea is to pick something and commit to working on it for 25 minutes, then take a little break. Then decide to work on that again or choose something else for 25 minutes. And as my therapist says, "Start anywhere." Just start. Once you see that you can accomplish a little thing, you might feel you can step-by-step work on something bigger.

Is there someone who can study or work with you? Maybe working on something else but physically near you? I don't know if that will help; just a random idea.