Seeking Support

[buggsie]

Hello - My teenage daughter has been struggling with Anxiety and Depression for the past few years. She has started medication about a month ago and has finally agreed to psychotherapy. I am looking for support from other members who live with someone who shares these same things. Have I come to the right spot?

[Hidden]

Yes you have! All of us are here to support and be kind. We'll offer any advice that we can!!!!!!!! Best of luck! Peace & joy! XXX

[buggsie in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response. The hardest part of all this in not knowing what to do.

[Hidden in reply to buggsie]

Are you getting help for yourself? That's a must. You can do this! I have faith in you! joy & peace ! XXX

[buggsie in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I am. I am all new to this and want to do the best I can for her as well as myself.

[Dubba61]

Think you have buggsie, my daughter is same, really struggling at University​ and about to go on medication. It's such a worry isn't it? I've suffered from.Anxiety/depression, for many years,was hoping she won't be same.

[buggsie in reply to Dubba61]

Yes its such a worry. We have no idea how they will react, if that is in fact the correct approach. Meds scare me from a previous incident with another child of mine and i'm very biased on it and think this interferes with my daughter and what she needs.

[Dubba61 in reply to buggsie]

Yes, i can understand your fears. I had a very bad experience with Meds a long time ago and it does make you more weary. I reacted badly to some drug for depression and suffered shakes and dribbling mouth. Docs are so much better at prescribing (here in UK) these days. And they have greater variety to chose from. Hopefully your daughter (and mine) won't need to take them for too long. Psychotherapy, is really good I've heard although, it's not often offered here. My Daughter is having Councilling which i,m not a big fan of as i think going over and over past worries can have a detrimental effect, for some. Let's be positive though and hope for the best of outcomes. Best of wishes. Dee 😊

[buggsie in reply to Dubba61]

Thank you Dee!! Best wishes for all!!!

[ReadableSG]

Hey Buggsie, I've been struggling with Anxiety and Depression for about 2 years, and therapy will really help

[buggsie in reply to ReadableSG]

Thank you!! I'm so glad she has finally agreed to therapy.

[fauxartist]

yes....

[Mrsalwag]

When my sever anxiety/panic & depression first started my husband had a very hard time knowing what to say or do to help me? He’s a ‘do-er’ and when he couldn’t really DO anything to help, he felt defeated & frustrated. Through trial & error he has gotten so much better. Things I will say though that he tried that were not helpful... ‘just don’t think about it!’, ‘why do you let your mind go to that place!?’, if I couldn’t go somewhere or do something because I was afraid he would visibly show frustration & when I’d ask why is he upset? He’d express he hates that I can’t do certain things because of ‘this’, he said he wished I could just have a better quality of life - enjoying it. He would say he was mad at the anxiety, well you feel you are your anxiety. As I’m sure you hear those aren’t very encouraging statements (he was just expressing himself truthfully, out of love) but it created more feelings for me of shame, guilt, disappointment & anxiety. After quite a few arguments, tears & hard truths... now he just listens more, accepts my fears for what they are not what he thinks I shouldn’t fear, he has reassured me that he’s proud of me & my strength through ‘this’. Mental Illness is a real thing & should be treated like your loved one has any other Illness such as cancer, ms, certain disease, etc... Know things will get better with treatment, therapy, possible medication & time ❤️ Just commit to supporting & encouraging however long that takes, as a mother myself I know you will.

[buggsie in reply to Mrsalwag]

Thank you for sharing your story with me. There are similarities I can take from this. One of the things she has shared with her father and I is shame, guilt, worthlessness and disappointment feelings she thinks we have towards her and what you wrote can explain how what we say to her can be received as those. We don't think any of these things at all and are shocked she feels this way. I think we are guilty of downplaying her feelings?? Example: she's terrified to make a phone call or go and pay for something on her own. My response is, the best thing to do is to face your fear head on. I wasn't taking her situation as hers, I was as mine. Again thank you for your in site!!

[Mrsalwag in reply to buggsie]

Yes, I can see how it’s so hard to understand or relate when someone has never felt sever anxiety/panic or depression. And I know everything you do is out of love & with the intent to help her so she can feel better. This road is a process or a ‘season’ and during it as long as you show unconditional love & support you will help her. Let the therapist or Dr.’s suggest her to go out of her comfort zone & face fears. Her relationship with you & her at home should feel 100% safe no matter what. I’m currently in the middle of my road or ‘season’ and know there are good days & then bad days but acknowledging bad days as part of the process & not a step backwards (which can feel disappointing & discouraging). My hope from this is once I come out of the other end, the Lord uses my experience to help or encourage others. So hopefully I’ve helped or encouraged you in the midst of my own struggles ❤️

[buggsie in reply to Mrsalwag]

My prayers for you will be just that!!